Page 42 of Destined By Dragonblood
Her explanation made sense because of how I was torn between her and Dolyn but also sounded alarms in my head. The connection growing between her and I felt threatened by the introduction of a second man.
Fear over experiencing similar heartache to what my ex had caused demanded I protect myself and stay in the friend zone until Ashley decided what and who she wanted.
That encouragement I’d offered her to move forward had backfired, and the sense of floundering even worse than before learning more about Ashley returned tenfold.
“At therapy the other day, Doctor Hasslet suggested I meet him again in a safe place,” Ashley went on, and I could tell from her voice she had every intention of doing so.
A burn lit inside my chest, and I bit my tongue to keep from demanding otherwise. She might submit herself to me once a month, but Ashley was not mine.
Yet.
I appreciated the quiet thought in the back of my mind.
“He also asked how I felt about you now that this new man has come into my life,” she continued.
Of course Doc Haslett had. He knew everything about me and probably assumed correctly how I would respond to another man entering the picture. I’d only just become comfortable with the thought of opening up my heart again and had told him as such during our virtual chat a few nights earlier.
“What did you say?” I asked, my voice rasping with desperation even though I tried to hide my emotions.
“I’m drawn to the guy, but I…I feel the same way about you too, Vanni. Is it wrong to be interested in two men equally?”
My eyelids slid closed as I rubbed a hand through my hair, thrilled to finally have the truth of her feelings for me yet torn over her heart being divided in who she ought to pursue. “I have to tell you something, Ashley.”
“What?” Wariness bled over the line.
“I told you I’m divorced, but I never shared the reason behind our split.”
“Shit,” she whispered as though knowing where my tale went before I said a word.
“One of my ex-wife’s fantasies was a threesome, and I invited another man into our bed to give her a night to remember.”
“Oh no.”
I’d considered my gift the mistake of a lifetime but lately had been rethinking the entire event that had led to me meeting Ashley.
And Dolyn.
“She left me a short time later to pursue a future with him.”
“I wouldn’t ever play you like that, Vanni,” Ashley said.
“We aren’t in a relationship that you should feel the need to persuade my thoughts.”
“Ouch.” Her tone suggested she grimaced over my blunt words.
Swallowing hard, I forced myself to go on. “You are free to travel your path toward healing without interference on my end.”
“It sounds as if you’d like to interfere?” Her voice hinted at a question.
I held my breath for a moment before emptying my lungs and deciding on honesty, since she obviously needed reassurance. “More than anything, I desire a deeper connection with you, but I want what’s best for you, Ash, and if that’s him…” I couldn’t bring myself to finish.
“I’d like to get to know him better, but something inside me suggests you’re both equally important in my life.” She exhaled loudly as though as troubled over the entire affair as I was. “Are you available to meet with me this Friday night instead of waiting another three weeks?”
A low chuckle escaped me, and I rested against my couch, eyes wide and staring at the ceiling. “I closed my schedule down after you allowed me to touch your skin.”
“Oh.” I could imagine the flush on her cheeks. “That’s…wow. Okay.”
“Don’t ever question how I feel about you, Ashley, but I’m not telling you that because I’m one of those pick-me guys.”
