Page 41 of Through Quick and Quinn
Oh wow. That sounds rough.
5:31 p.m.
I have nightmares but most of the time they’re like flashbacks
5:32 p.m.
I don’t know what to say. I just hope that it gets easier with time and with healing.
5:32 p.m.
yeah me too
5:32 p.m.
Hey, Quick?
5:33 p.m.
yeah
5:33 p.m.
I see you.
5:33 p.m.
I see you too
+ + +
Hey Geoffrey,
I can’t believe I’m seventeen. In a year I’ll officially be an adult and starting to think about leaving our folks’ house. Starting my life. It’s crazy to think about. Honestly, I can’t really grasp that reality yet.
I’ll be glad to leave home. I think Mom will get better when she doesn’t have to see me every single day. Maybe that will alleviate some of my guilt. I don’t know. And maybe I’ll start feeling a little better, too. We’re all constant reminders of pain. Of guilt. And of you.
Yesterday was a first. They forgot my birthday. Or maybe they think I’m getting too old for that kind of thing. But to not even wish me a happy birthday? It stung. I guess I’m not surprised though. How could she possibly remember it when she probably doesn’t even know what year it is, let alone the month and day? I don’t know what Dad’s excuse is. Probably just wants to forget.
It’s alright. I wasn’t too bothered by it. I don’t deserve a happy birthday anyway, so it’s fine. Kinda weird, though, since I actually did have moments of a happy birthday yesterday. Quinn made me feel like the only person in the universe. She makes me feel like I do deserve joy.
Maybe I do. Who knows. But no matter how much joy I allow myself to feel, it will always be coupled with an emptiness. There is a hole in me that will never be filled. Plain and simple.
Love you.
And as always, I am so frickin’ sorry. I’d do anything for a do-over.
-Deck
Quinn:
Creases
It was a frigid and dreary Friday in February, and even with the hint of the afternoon sun hiding behind the ominous gray clouds, my teeth were chattering as Quick and I ambled home after school. I was wearing my beanie under my fuzzy jacket hood, but my ears still felt frozen. Goosebumps speckled my legs and instinct urged me to continue rubbing my hands together as we walked. No matter how cold I was though, I felt a warmth radiating from within. There were very few things in my life that made me feel as content as my time spent with Quick. Our friendship was effortless, and I was consciously aware of and grateful for finding a companionship as accepting and authentic as ours.
The wintry weather robbed the neighborhoods of the sounds we typically enjoyed, those of dogs barking and birds chirping. We did, however, delight in our own conversation which happened to go from light to quite serious within a street block’s time.
Naturally, we exchanged our most current findings and resulting opinions regarding our latest research topics. It was no surprise that discourse ensued, given that the both of us loved to play the role of a dissenter in order to challenge the other. This pattern had become a favorite pastime over the course of our six-month friendship, and that day was no different.
