Page 60 of Through Quick and Quinn
6:28 p.m.
good
6:28 p.m.
I already miss Mr. Erickson though!
6:28 p.m.
I know
sucks that REED is only for juniors
6:29 p.m.
I’m hoping it takes off this year.
Fingers crossed that he has an interested group.
6:31 p.m.
wanna go visit him tomorrow?
6:32 p.m.
After school? Yes! Let’s do that.
6:32 p.m.
ok
+ + +
Hey Geoffrey,
Mom was a frickin’ disaster today. And she looks like hell. It’s been, what, five years or so now that she’s been “self-medicating”? Let’s just call it what it is. She’s high. All the time. Some days worse than others. And for some reason today, I could see what a toll it’s physically taken on her.
I was planning on talking to Dad about it a few months back, but then I was in my self-pity stage and completely dropped it. I need to do it. I need to talk to him. Pretty soon I’ll be moving out, and honestly, I don’t really see myself coming around for visits and stuff. Not if it’s like this. What for? There’s no conversation. No connections. I have a year left to help us get this right. Right?
It’s going to be uncomfortable, but honestly, what have I got to lose? The healthiest ways of dealing with things happen to be the hardest ways, so I just gotta do it.
Speaking of dealing with crap, I was thinking about something the other day. Looking back, I’m surprised I didn’t end up drinking or smoking pot during those first couple of years of high school. I was so miserable and couldn’t really deal with life, but I guess watching Mom deteriorate kinda kept me from messing with that stuff. But I see it all around me. I feel like everyone at school is smoking pot and a lot of them are doing way worse stuff. Part of it’s pressure and image, which is all so frickin’ stupid, but I think a lot of it is them not knowing how to deal with life, so they escape through drugs or whatever. Like Mom. It’s the easier way of dealing with crap, but only in the very short term. It’s not really dealing. It’s avoiding and postponing. All that crap they’re not dealing with is just going to haunt them until they do. Life is hard. Way hard. Especially these days with the world being as messed up as it is. I get it, I honestly don’t blame them. I’m just glad I figured out that the best way through it is to go through it. There’s no escape. There are no shortcuts. At some point, we have to deal with our crap head-on or we don’t move on. Period.
Ok, so then, I need to deal with Mom. And Dad. They both chose unhealthy ways of “dealing” with their grief, but enough is enough. Maybe I feel strong enough now to force the conversation? To face it with them? It’s definitely time.
I love you, brother.
-Deck
***
Quinn / 7:31 p.m.
Quick.
Quick / 7:35 p.m.
Quinn.
