Page 48 of Through Quick and Quinn
they haven’t been together at lunch for like a week
and she’s been walking home alone
6:30 p.m.
what are you like stalking them
6:31 p.m.
shut up no but seriously I think they broke up
6:35 p.m.
aaaw that’s kinda sad
6:35 p.m.
sad?! why is that sad??
now I really need to know what happened
he probably figured out that she’s the wicked witch of the west
6:36 p.m.
why do you care so much
6:37 p.m.
idk
6:38 p.m.
you’re putting way too much energy into all of this
6:39 p.m.
whatever
Friday, April 19, 2024
Note to self:
It’s been almost three weeks since Quick left our club. There has not been one peep, not even a glance in my direction. He doesn’t acknowledge my existence, not in the hallway, not in the classroom, not on the lawn, not by text. I am completely dead to him, and my heart is shattered. My inability to release my curiosity, to honor his wishes, to let his healing journey organically unfold… It all cost me my one and only friend.
Mom, Dad, and I smiled and sobbed our way through our triple tradition today as we celebrated the life of our Troy. As much as I dread the reason for it, I am also keenly aware of my appreciation for what the day brought. It was as though Mom and I pressed a reset button, and I felt closer to her than I have in a really long while. Troy’s birthday gives us a sense of perspective, a reminder not to get swept up in the nonsense of the daily grind and to focus on what really matters. A family afternoon centered around love was exactly what I needed, and it helped my heart feel better.
But now, sitting here in my room, all I can think about is Quick and how much I miss him. I could apologize a million times, but I don’t think it will ever be enough. I hurt him in a way that I’m not even sure I understand, and I have absolutely no idea how to make it right.
Maybe that’s my lesson, though. Maybe it’s not up to me to “make it right.” I need to stop trying to fix everything all the time. That’s what got me into this mess in the first place. All I can do is work on me. I can control my thoughts, my emotions, and my actions, but I cannot control anyone else’s. I have to continue to grow as a human being and work on radiating my light, and hope that it brings him back to me. When he’s ready.
Hopefully it’s “when” he’s ready, and not “if ever.”
…Q
***
Mandy / 8:38 p.m.
