Page 30 of Through Quick and Quinn
his name was Geoffrey
Quinn / 7:02 p.m.
I’m so sorry.
I’m sure he was perfect, Quick.
Do you want to talk?
7:38 p.m.
no
7:42 p.m.
but thanks
7:44 p.m.
Offer does not expire.
I see you, Quick.
+ + +
Hey Geoffrey,
I think I kinda figured out some things since last week. I was thinking about how Quinn still mourns for her brother but she’s not in mourning all the time. There’s like an air of acceptance about her. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I can tell you that I envy it a bit. Our situations are different, obviously. Not to belittle her family’s loss or the indescribable grief that I’m sure they all carry with them, but Quinn isn’t to blame for Troy’s death. Quinn doesn’t carry the guilt. I don’t know if I will ever get to a place of acceptance, and I’m not sure I even deserve to. But what is deserved is for your name to be spoken. I try to honor you through my thoughts and my letters, but that’s not enough. Your name, while sacred to me, shouldn’t be laid to rest.
I shared your name with Quinn. That’s all I shared, and to be honest, I don’t know if I will ever be strong enough or brave enough to divulge any more than that. But I do know that if I’ve ever met anyone safe enough to confide in, it’s her.
There are no earthly words to express how much I miss you.
I can’t believe you’d be double digits today, bud. Happy birthday, Geoffrey.
-Deck
Tuesday, December 5, 2023
Note to self:
This first semester of our junior year is coming to a close, and when I reflect on all that has happened, I am quite stunned. My love for Mr. Erickson, his philosophy, and our club fills my heart with inspiration, which is something I was missing not so long ago. Not only that, I am learning more and more each day about the things of my choosing. This chemtrail work has opened my eyes to possibilities I never considered and has somehow, oddly enough, given me a huge confidence boost. I’m proud of myself for being a CT (either acronym is fine). Mr. Erickson was proud of us, too. He apparently shared our finished chemtrail infographic and presentation with all five of his classes.
But all of that aside, the biggest growth comes from the interpersonal. I made a friend. And not just a casual friend to talk to about nonsense, but an actual confidant. Quick and I have spent so much time together in club working on things of depth and value, that it makes perfect sense for the friendship to have spilled over and beyond the school walls. There’s a trust there, and a mutual respect. There’s no way I would have shared about Troy or he would have shared about Geoffrey if there wasn’t a profundity of friendship.
With that being said, I am starting to feel strange about our upcoming holiday break. Will I not see Quick for two weeks? I didn’t realize how much I rely on spending time with him, and now I have no idea what it will feel like to go without. I think what I am feeling is the dread of loneliness. I miss him already. How weird and pathetic is that?
Well, as always, I am pretty self-aware. And right now, I can sense that I’m being ridiculous. It’s only two weeks, and I’m sure we’ll text. Right?
…Q
+ + +
Hey Geoffrey,
I am starting to feel a little sick to my stomach. We go on break tomorrow and I probably won’t see Quinn for two weeks. Dude, I am going to miss her. I swear it’s not like that, she really is just a friend. But she’s so much more than that. Our friendship seems atypical because it’s so deep for a couple of teenagers. Maybe that’s what happens when two high schoolers bond over research questions and possible answers, not to mention their lost brothers. I mean, really. How many friends our age out there share that in common?
This was the best semester of high school. Of all of school, ever. There isn’t even a distant second, and I know it’s going to keep getting better and better. Because that’s what she does. She is the best and she never ceases to get better. She’s brilliant and she’s focused, she’s real but she stays positive, she’s caring and she’s generous. I’m so happy and so at ease when I’m around her, and I’m always looking forward to the next time I get to see her. Dude, I am really going to miss her over break.
