Page 103 of The Reluctant Billionaire
I nod approvingly. ‘Perfect.’
‘And…’ Those incredible pale blue eyes are so intense. ‘I love you.’
The swell of emotion hits me like a rubber mallet over the head. For once in my life, I’m utterly speechless.
I stare at him. ‘I?—’
‘Wait,’ he says. I’ve seen this man smile with pleasure and mirth and affection and all the rest, but he’sneversmiled at me like this. Like he’s holding nothing back. Allowing every last one of his emotions to flood through him. To show in that smile of his, to shine in those eyes. And it’s like nothing else. It’s spellbinding.
He’sspellbinding.
Andhe loves me.
Before he turned up and surprised me, I’d resigned myself to the fact that Aide didn’t choose me this weekend. Not only has he chosen me, but he loves me.
‘Don’t say anything until I’ve finished telling you how I feel,’ he continues. He’s still braced above me, his forearms framing my face. He smooths my hair off my temple with the gentlest of touches. ‘Because I’m so in love with you, and I know it’s no excuse, but I think maybe my little stunt the other day was about holding myself back. I freaked out.’
‘Why?’ I ask through my tears. I stroke my hands down the sides of his firm body.
He coughs out an embarrassed little laugh. ‘It’s going to sound ridiculous.’
I lick my lips. ‘Try me.’
‘Well, you’re magnificent. You’re honestly like no one I’ve ever dated. I think the women I’ve gone for in the past have been… needier than you. What?’
I’m trying hard not to laugh. ‘Nothing. Sorry. It’s just—needier? You shock me.’
‘Okay, okay. I have issues.’
‘You don’t say.’ I raise my eyebrows at him.
‘Anyway, you’re definitely not… needy. You’re so amazing, and impressive, and strong. You’re the most badass woman I’ve ever met—apart from Judy, obviously. But you seem so independent.’ He shakes his head, and I can tell this is difficult for him. ‘I got hold of my therapist for an emergency chat at the airport, and she said I was probably scared because I don’t know how to show up for someone who doesn’t really need me, and…’
‘And?’ I prompt softly.
‘And she said something about love language.’ He shifts on top of me. ‘Like, I have this fucked-up view that people love me because they need me, or more like I feel most loved when I’m most needed. Which is really unhealthy, because I should be allowed to feel loved even when someone’s not bleeding me dry.
‘And I shouldn’t be trying to earn people’s love by, you know, making them need me. She said I’ve allowed some people to manipulate me, but by making myself indispensable I’ve also been manipulating them.’
I stare at him as his face crumples with emotion. Fuck me, that’s a lot. And it makes me fucking furious to think a human being as full of integrity and generosity as Aide should have fallen foul of this dynamic. That he should ever have been allowed to get himself to a place where he felt beholden to actively earn love. To keep it.
‘Aide,’ I whisper. ‘I have to tell you something. You’re right. I don’t need you—I don’tdependon you. Not in the way other people in your life do, maybe. But’—I take a deep breath—‘Iloveyou.’
His face is a beautiful mess of conflicting emotions as he absorbs what I’m telling him on top of wading through all the epiphanies he’s been processing these past few hours.
I keep talking. ‘And just because I don’t need you, it doesn’t mean I don’t want you. I’ve looked after myself for a longtime. I’m a big girl. But I wanted you with me really badly this weekend. It was important to me.’
‘I know,’ he manages.
‘If I didn’t make that really clear, then I should be apologising, too.’ I extricate a hand from between our bodies so I can touch his cheek. ‘Everything’s better when you’re here, honey. I’m trying to make you understand that’s all I need from you. I don’t need you todoanything for me. I just want you close.’ My bottom lip trembles. ‘Otherwise I get really, really sad. Because I miss you so much when you’re not around.’
‘Fuck,’ he grits out low and harsh, his mouth finding mine to kiss me, andGodit’s so good. I could easily let myself succumb to this, to his tongue sliding decisively past my lips, but there’s one more point I have to make.
‘Do you see the difference? I want you. I love you. I hate it when you’re not around. But I don’t want to be another person adding to your list of obligations.’
‘You will never, ever be that,’ he chokes out. ‘But you love me?’
I smile against his lips. ‘I do.’
