Page 10 of Forget Me Not
“Megan—Jesus,” I admonished, glancing around at the student who was laughing at her comments. Megan was like a breath of air in the hallways. Students loved her crazy antics and gravitated toward her. I was envious of her ability to turn any situation into a laugh fest.
“You obviously haven’t seen yourself. Seriously, what’s wrong?”
I waved her inside my class and shut the door. Thankfully, it was our planning time and I could spill my guts to her. She was the closest thing I had to a sister, so I knew she would tell me straight. I filled her in on the weird tension at the emergency room, all the phone calls leading up to the post-op appointment, and the date. In true Megan fashion, she listened without interruption. She had always been my sounding board. From the crazy belief that Danny was still alive and living with amnesia, to the gut-wrenching sadness I dealt with when I finally realized he was gone.
“Alright.” Megan blew out a breath. “I’m going to be real with you, Kenz.” She folded her arms across her chest. “I didn’t know Danny, but I suspect he was everything you describe. And a love like that is something every girl dreams of—but Danny died. As much as that hurts you, he’s never coming back. I’ve watched silently for ten years as you pass up men. I think you need to stop believing you’re betraying Danny by moving on. If he loved you like he said, then he would want you to be happy.”
Her words pierced my thick armor and hit me straight in the chest. The air whooshed out of my lungs as I let the breath I had been unconsciously holding go. She was right. In some sick way, I had felt like I was betraying Danny by moving on. And in cutting myself off from living, I had unceremoniously been hurting my son.
“What I’d like to know is if you are going to keep ignoring that hunk of a man or take him up on his offer?”
“I…” I closed my eyes and moved past Megan toward my desk. “I’m scared, Megan. I haven’t been with a man since Danny, and the thought of anything slightly physical scares the ever-loving shit out of me.”
“Get over yourself and just fuck him.” Megan giggled. “It’s like riding a horse. You climb in the saddle and ride him like a cowgirl. But before you do that, we need to go shopping. Because Kenz… I’m going to sex you up so the man won’t be able to keep his hands off you.”
“But he hasn’t even replied to my dinner suggestion. What if he thinks I am too much trouble?”
“Check your phone. Maybe he got busy—I mean he is adoctor.”
I picked up my phone and swiped the screen. Sure enough, Austin had responded. Pressing the notification, I opened his message.
Austin: Sorry. I thought I hit send before rushing off to the emergency room. I would love dinner. When?
Tonight? Danny spends Wednesdays at his grandparents, so I have the house to myself. I’d like to cook for you. 8 work?
I hit send before I could second guess myself.
“Well?”
“He had an emergency. I invited him over to my place for dinner.”
Austin: Perfect. See you then.
“Then we’re going shopping right after work. Catherine picks up Danny, right?”
“Yes. Oh God.” I plopped down. “What am I doing, Megan?”
“You’re gonna get laid. Time to rip off the fucking band-aid.”
Thankfully our planning was at the end of the day, so as soon as buses were dismissed, Megan followed me to my house, so I could leave my car at home. We spent a few hours shopping and gathering supplies for dinner and, as she put it, dessert. I couldn’t believe I was entertaining the idea of sleeping with a man. But I was. And that was terrifying. Oddly enough, beneath the fear I was feeling, I felt excitement.
Mackenzie
Megan helped me prepare the food and then ushered me upstairs to get dressed. She refused to leave until I proved to her I was wearing the new bra and panties under the dress she insisted I put on. As much as I wanted to choke her, seeing myself in the mirror, I knew she had picked wisely.
“You look amazing.” She grinned like a kid who had been caught sneaking cookies. “If he’s like most men, he will have you naked before dinner.”
“Jesus, Megan.”
“Alright. I’m leaving. But I expect to hear all about it tomorrow at work. And I swear to god if you don’t have that ‘I’ve just been fucked’ glow, Imma be pissed.”
After hurrying her out the door, I called Danny. I always called him and told him goodnight when he stayed at my in-laws. After two rings Catherine answered.
“Aren’t you on a date?”
“Megan.” I blew out a breath.
“Yep. She was afraid you would try to weasel out of it by calling me and trying to get Danny. But I’m with her. It’s time you stopped living in the shadow of my dead son. We all miss him, Mackenzie, but this boy needs a man in his life.”
