Page 25 of Don't Break My Heart
His features harden. “Don’t fucking look at me like I’m pure evil. You know me better, Sloane. This is more complicated than just signingit all over to my brother. Legitimate businesses are easy, but the underground stuff, that needs to be carefully planned or people will get hurt. Innocent people, Sloane, girls who are already trapped in this disgusting cycle.” He tries to clarify like it explains why he wants to be involved in such a horrible organization.
Sickness fills me when I think about what his papa was doing, the women who must have suffered at his hands. I want to bring him back from the dead so I can kill him all over again, torturing him slowly. He went too easy; he should have suffered like they must have.
“When I first met you, you said if your papa brought my mum back here to Italy it would have been so much worse for her than her being raped and killed that night. This is what you meant, isn’t it? You knew what he was capable of.” My head spins with the injustice of it all. My eyes bouncing around the table, I can see the other boys are just as furious as I am, but they must have known what he was capable of; they grew up in this world. “Why did he get away with it for so fucking long? Why didn’t you stop him? Why didn’t Orlando stop him?” Words fly from my mouth, I can’t control them. This shit is my absolute worst nightmare, and he knows it. My body is wound so tight with erratic energy I’m shaking.
Romeo moves around the table, taking my hand and trying to placate me. I stare up at him, not sure what the fuck to do, but his touch on me doesn’t feel like it normally does. “He had the police in his pocket and all the local politicians as well. He ran a very well-orchestrated operation. We didn’t have the power to change anything, until now.”
I stand in a rush, pulling out of his grip on me. “This villa is built on that fucking dirty money, that jet we arrived here in, these stupid designer clothes.” My fingers tremble as I run them over the expensive linen of my tailored pants, disgust crawling under my nails, etchingitself under my skin in a way that I know I will never be able to rid myself of.
My whole life I have fought for the rights of the women in my club, for the women of my town. I thought that was my life’s mission, to protect them from the scum of the earth, but I was thinking too small. “I can’t be this fucking princess, fucking Mrs. Moretti, gaining from someone else’s pain.” My frantic eyes meet with every one of them. I feel crazy, like I want to run and hide or cause a fucking fire-wielding riot down the streets of Italy until I get the justice I want.
Romeo tries to grab for me, his fingers pressing into my biceps as he stops me from moving. “You didn’t do anything, Sloane, you’re here to fix this.”
I feel Reef behind me as well, his hand coming to my waist. “It’s okay, wildcat.”
My fingers dig into my scalp as I try to wrap my head around how fucking awful this all is. Cold sweat drips down my spine as my body goes all clammy.
“Sloane, sit down, have something to eat.” Onyx’s voice comes over the pulsating thump in my head. I glance at him. He knows it as well. I’m about to freak the hell out, and there is nothing any of them can do to stop it.
I can’t sit and eat like this is a normal Sunday, fuck that. I feel out of control. I shove out of the boys’ grip on me, ripping at the satin blouse I have on, tearing the fabric in my frantic attempt to get it off. My pants are next. I need them off my body. I can’t contribute to this.
When I’m in nothing but my panties and bra, I drag my nails over my skin, wanting this feeling to go away. I scrub at my arms, rubbing the skin until it’s raw. But it won’t go away. I feel the color draining from my face as sickness overwhelms me, a hopeless, uncomfortable, churning through my body that won’t ease.
My heart pounds in my ears so loud it makes my head spin. I push away from them and run.
Chapter 12
Itakethestairstwo at a time, my heart racing frantically. I don’t know where I’m going. All I know is I need to get away from them all. I need to get this grimy feeling off my skin. I sprint into my room and see the pool.
I run right for it, throwing myself deep into the middle. Water splashes out everywhere. I don’t care if my swimming is still dodgy as fuck. I need to be cleansed of the terrible, dirty feeling that has crawled under my skin. I don’t think I will ever be able to rid myself of it. That fucking piece of shit Emilio, I want to kill him over and over again for the hell he has caused.
Holding my breath for as long as my body will let me, I stay under the water, trying to block out all the horrendous thoughts of what he did to those innocent women, how badly he hurt them and destroyed their lives. Too many must have died at his hands, and the others would have suffered every day from the evil operation he was orchestrating. My head whooshes. The water surrounds me, blocking my ears as I start to feel light. In here there is peace, quiet. Out there is only pain and suffering.
Water moves around me more quickly now, and I feel strong arms wrap around me, tugging at me, pulling me from the water. I don’t fight them, I have none left, my limp body happily being dragged back into the light.
When I glance up, I make out Reef’s blurry face as he drags me to the pool stairs, gripping me so damn tightly his fingers are going to leave bruises on my shoulders. He huffs out strained breaths, looking down at me through sad, destroyed eyes. His happiness is gone completely. This world has broken him as well, I can feel it. “What the fuck, Sloane, are you trying to kill yourself?” His angry words vibrate off the walls, sending shivers over my skin.
My chest aches and my head spins as I stare back at him, blinking away the mix of chlorine and salt from my tears, not able to form a sentence that makes any sense through my struggling breaths. I never considered killing myself, I just wanted it all to stop for once.
He shakes me, his fingers pressed firmly into my shoulders, looking so worried it makes me feel sick all over. What I must look like to him, a total train wreck.
A sob comes from me as I try to find words to explain so he doesn’t think I’m insane. “I have to block it all out, Reef, it’s so fucking awful,” I whimper, reality crashing down on me like a ton of bricks. Heavy and suffocating. What these people are doing is so horrific, I can’t stand it.
He pulls me closer to him, hugging me so tightly I can feel his racing heart under his soaked shirt. “I know, wildcat. I know.” He kisses me softly and clings to me like both our lives depend on it, because right now, it feels like they do. I’m giving up on it all, and I wonder if he is as well. He’s been so quiet since we arrived in Italy, so out of sorts. I miss his happy side. He was my light in the dark, and now, now I can’t see.
I cling to him on the side of the pool forever. If nothing else, I have him in this moment, and he feels safe. When both of our breathing returns to some sort of normal, he carefully helps me up the stairs and out of the pool. His strong body supports my weak one every step ofthe way. He leads me toward the showers and flicks on the waterfall showerhead to warm. Steam fills the air as the water heats.
With delicate strokes over my skin, he carefully removes my bra, unclasping it from behind and sliding it down my arms. Then he drags my panties down my legs and tugs his own shirt off and pants until we’re bare for each other.
He leads me under the warm spray and pulls me back to his solid chest as we stand under the warm shower together. My beautiful, sweet Reef; this world wasn’t made for him. He’s too kind, too sensitive to survive it, and maybe I am as well. Locked up in my little safe bubble at The Raven’s Nest, I could pretend I had all the control and I was making a difference. But the reality is so much worse than I ever could have imagined. I run my hands up his hard chest and into his hair as I stare up at him, his haunted green eyes staring right into my soul.
He presses a kiss to my forehead. “Things have to change, we will make sure of it,” he says as if it’s a promise, and I know he’s trying to assure me. “Romeo and Orlando aren’t their papa.”
“So much damage has already been done, so many lives destroyed, and for what? Money, power, the pleasure of evil. It’s disgusting.”
“It is.” He cups my face in his hands as water cascades down all around us. I feel so close to him right now, like he’s the only one who truly gets me. “I will help you make a change; the other boys will as well. This is what Romeo wants too, he just didn’t do very well explaining it to you.”
I offer him a soft smile, knowing it’s a nice fantasy, but the reality is a different story altogether. I’m not stupid, I know how complicated it will be to bring down an operation that has been running for so long. My hands run through his hair, and I hang onto his neck, clinging tohim. I never want to let go or leave this shower. In here with him, I am safe.
