Page 44 of Don't Break My Heart
The boys all answer her, but I have no words left for pleasantries, and I’ll be fucked if I’m taking a drink that could be laced from them again. Nausea churns in my stomach. I knew what Orlando was capable of, but I thought we had moved past all of that. I thought sometrust was building between us. I try to swallow the rising bile, but I can’t. I unbuckle my belt and stand in a rush, shoving past the flight attendant and knocking the drinks she’s pouring out of her hand.
“Hey!” she calls over her shoulder at me, irritated.
But I fucking don’t care, I run down the back of the jet and throw open the bathroom door. Dropping to my knees, I empty the contents of my stomach. Over and over again until I’m dry-retching. I grip hold of the toilet seat with white-knuckle force as I try to get my swirling head under control. I have never felt so utterly broken, so hurt and sad at the same time. I was a fool.
“You okay, wildcat?” comes Reef’s soft, caring voice from the door.
I can’t even look at him. He’s hurt me just as much letting them do this to me. “Fuck off, Reef.”
“I’m here for you if you need me,” he says softly, and I know he’s still there behind me. Watching me at my fucking lowest point.
“Please just leave me alone,” I whisper cry, hopelessness overwhelming me.
“I’m so sorry, Sloane, we never wanted to hurt you,” he says quietly, and then he’s gone, leaving me alone in my own mess.
Eventually I pull myself up to standing, staring at the haunted reflection I see in the mirror. I’m not the girl I once was, and I will never be her again. She was innocent in a way I can’t get back.
I wash my face, scrubbing the cold water over my eyes and mouth until my hands feel raw. Blood mixes with water, staining my wrists all over again. It trickles down the sink, and I watch it, not able to look away. I take a cloth and wipe over my wrists, cleaning them up as best I can.
Then I move back into the jet, finding a seat away from the rest of them. I pull the blanket lying over the chair up and over my body.Curling my knees up into my chest, I hug them, leaning into the window and staring out at the sky.
I never wanted to fall in love with any of them. All I wanted was a quick fuck to rid me of my problem, and one by one they got under my skin. They knew what I wanted. They did their research on me and had me in their sights long before I knew I was their target, and I fell right into their trap. And now I will be the one who never recovers.
Chapter 20
Whenwelandonhome soil, Onyx drives me, Reef, and Romeo straight to the docks, back to the safe house. I’m not even surprised. Orlando might have said I can have the life I want, but I knew that was bullshit. These three assholes are just as controlling, and I knew there was no way they would let me out of their sights.
I haven’t uttered a word to any of them, not one. I have nothing left to say. It’s late, close to midnight, and as much as I want to put up a fight and demand they take me right to the club, I also know I need time to pull myself together before I go back there.
I look like shit and am a shadow of the girl they know.
Instead, I head straight for my room, the one I had before Orlando took me. I lie down on my side facing away from the door, and I wait. Who knew staring at the wall could be so entertaining. It’s off-white with not a mark in sight, and I get lost in the texture of the wall. My body is dog tired, but my mind, that’s wide awake, bouncing from everything Orlando said to me last night to the pain he left me in this morning.
I keep staring at the wall for what feels like hours, waiting until I hear the last of them close their door and succumb to sleep. When I know they’re all in their rooms, I wait a little longer until I know sleep would have taken hold. Then I slip my gun into the back of my jeans and pocket my knife. I take the delicate bracelet off my wrist andleave it on my pillow for Onyx to find tomorrow. A heaviness sits in my chest when I think of how angry he will be, but there is no threat here anymore. I don’t need a bodyguard. Or three oversized assholes following me around. I slip Orlando’s ring off my finger and sign the divorce papers. I feel sad in a way I never have before, devastated by the loss of what I’m about to do. But I know for me it’s the only way to survive. I need to be alone.
I look out the window and consider my options. Five stories up is probably a few too many to tempt fate. I collect my boots in my hands and tiptoe out of my room. The door is still pulled off its hinges so there is at least not that to contend with. I’m as quiet as a mouse as I sneak through the apartment in just my socks. I shove open the fire escape and step outside, my heart in my throat. Part of me thought Onyx would somehow hear me and stop me before I even got this far. But so far, nothing. I climb down the five flights of stairs, and when I get to the bottom, I slip on my boots and tie the laces. Then I push open the heavy door, sending me out into the night alone.
Alone for the first time in years. I breathe in a full breath, the cold washing over me like a fresh skin. When I make it one block over, I pull out my phone and dial my brother’s number.
“Sloane?” he answers sleepily on the third ring.
“Get dressed, dickhead. I need you to come pick me up. I’m on the corner of Stanly and Seaview Streets. Down near the docks.”
He lets out a groan. “Aren’t you in Italy?”
“Get dressed, dummy. It’s fucking freezing out here.”
“Yeah, I’m moving. Be there in ten.”
“And Cruz, you tell anyone about this, you’re dead to me,” I warn him, only half serious.
“See you soon, Sis,” he grumbles as he disconnects the call.
I probably didn’t need to say it, because out of any of my brothers I know I can trust Cruz the most. There is this unspoken rule between us that we discuss shit first before we go to Jagger. But I have been away a while, and I feel out of the loop. Like maybe all our old rules no longer apply.
I wrap my arms around my middle and try to stay warm, pacing back and forth along the corner of the street I gave him. I’m freezing my tits off and really wish I thought my choice of clothing through better, but there wasn’t time to think about all of that. The only thing on my mind was slipping out of that place unnoticed. I have no idea how I will deal with them in the morning, but tonight, I need space to clear my head. I can’t function with them controlling my every move. Who could?
The hum of a motor bike comes down the street, and I can’t help but smirk when I see my brother’s cheeky grin from under his helmet. He pulls up beside me and tosses me a spare helmet. I throw a leg over the back, hopping on behind him as I secure my helmet in place.
