Page 29 of Edge of Ruin
“I’m not surprised,” he replied. “You’re so tight. Tiny. Like a virgin.”
“But I’m not babyproof,” I said. “And I am not prepared to be a mother.”
He stared at the river. Wiped water off his face, expressionless. “It’s okay. I’ll live.”
His cool, indifferent tone made me feel punished. “Besides, it’s just too soon for going all the way,” I went on. “Call me silly and old-fashioned if you want, but I barely know you, and things are weird between us anyway. I just don’t want to give it all up to you if you just want to ... ah, I mean, if the relationship has no future.”
His eyebrow tilted up. “I should think you would be good at those.”
I stiffened, suspicious. “What do you mean? Good at what?”
“Relationships with no future. What other kind could your type possibly have?”
I stared at him, utterly shocked, and then shoved him away from myself, my boneless languor gone. A wave of hot water splashed up into Jack’s chest and face.
“Well, fuck you too, Kendrick,” I said savagely, standing up.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to insult you.”
“Oh, didn’t you? Hah! Want to know a fun fact, Kendrick? A couple of minutes ago, I truly, sincerely wanted to suck your dick. But you know what? I don’t want to suck your dick anymore. Not even a little bit. Asshole.” I yanked my jeans up over my bare ass. I couldn’t seem to make my trembling fingers work.
He got out of the pool and moved toward me, but I kept my red face averted. “Don’t touch me,” I snarled. “Keep your fucking distance.”
“Aw, shit,” he muttered. “What a mess.”
“Yes. Those are my feelings, exactly. I’ve known you for one single goddamn day, and every time you see me, you insult me, Kendrick. I’m talking big, nasty, mortal insults. And it’s ten times worse when you seduce me first. You get me all worked up and loosey goosey, and bam, that’s when you really let me have it. Fucking sadist.”
“I didn’t mean to insult you. Nor did I succeed in seducing you, evidently.” He got up out of the pool, and I whipped my gaze swiftly away.
“Keep your back turned,” he growled. “I want to take this wet underwear off before I put on my jeans.”
“Do whatever the fuck you like,” I said. “I’m out of here.”
I made my way up the flower-lined, moss-choked streambed, with Edna bounding behind me. I could barely see where I was going. Slowly, the path came back into focus for me, in reverse. The cleft of rock I had to clamber past. The thicket of posion oak to walk carefully around, the tunnel of blackberry brambles to slither through.
Then it was back down to the riverbed, for the rock hopping part of the journey.
I was mortified. He melted me down, turned me into hot, syrupy goop, and then ka-pow, he made me feel cheap and easy for giving in to it.
To hell with him. It was a mistake I would not make again. I was swearing a holy vow to myself this time. That guy could go fuck himself.
My knee-jerk instinct was to gather up my stuff and my dog and get the hell out of there, but my van was still stuck, and Haupt and Snake Eyes were still out there, and besides, I had no place to go, except for all the way back to New York, to park on top of my sisters’ lives. Once I had started planning my hideout in Kendrick’s flower bower, I had ceased to send in registration fees for upcoming crafts fairs, or to churn out new stock, so I couldn’t even do the craft fair circuit, at least not for a while. Working the fairs took a certain amount of lead time and advance planning.
So even if my van was unstuck, if I left it would just be for aimless, money-draining, gas-guzzling wandering out on the road. And I would be too scared to stop. The gas would run out when the money did. And it wouldn’t take too damn long.
There I’d be, helpless and broke and alone. A sitting duck.
No. I was a grown-up. I’d already been through hell in my life as a kid, and I had come out battered, but okay, thanks to Lucia and my found sisters. I would not be chased away from this haven like a stray cat. My safety was more important than my poor little hurt feelings.
But neither would I play the nympho sex toy for that arrogant prick. Since that was clearly how he saw me. Thank God I hadn’t gone down on him. I’d be feeling ten times worse about everything if I had the taste of his come in my mouth.
I’d come so close, too. My mouth had been watering for it. Bad enough that he’d spent all that time with his face between my legs.
That took all the strength out of my wobbly legs. I sat down heavily on a rock. Clenching my thighs around hot, shuddering pulses of remembered pleasure.
Only the thought of Kendrick finding me there on his way back was scary enough to nudge me up off my ass and get me stumbling home.
Chapter Eleven
