Page 42 of Losing Lizzy
Sheffield shrugged his response. “I am certain Mr. Darcy will be surprised at the depth of details we performed, but, beyond his shock, I believe he will know relief. We always knew some day we would be asked to explain ourselves.” He kissed her forehead in affection. “I will take Lizzy Anne with me. I have a small bag of lemon sugars in my pocket. She and I will read a book and enjoy our ride. Please let me know if you wish me tomake an explanation to Mr. Darcy. After all, our escapades were my ideas.”
Therefore, Elizabeth had asked Jasper to retrieve the small leather satchel from her trunk before they set off for Higham. “How long before we reach Rosings Park?” she asked Mr. Farrin as he handed her into Mr. Darcy’s carriage. The gentleman himself had personally carried their daughter to Sheffield’s carriage, making certain both their child and Sheffield had enough blankets and warm bricks to make their journey comfortable.
“About three hours, ma’am. A bit over twenty miles, but the roads are generally good in that part of Kent so perhaps sooner.”
She nodded her gratitude, but she wondered if she would survive three hours in the same carriage as Mr. Darcy. She had yet to permit him a kiss or anything more than the comfort of his embrace during all this madness. There was still so much to say to him. So much to explain. For just a moment, she panicked and slid across the seat to disembark, choosing to ride with Sheffield, but. before she could reach for the door latch, Mr. Darcy crawled into the coach and tapped on the roof to signal for Mr. Farrin to begin their journey. Jasper closed the door and climbed up on the box, and they were rolling out of the inn yard.
“Elizabeth Anne presented me three kisses before she settled in beside Mr. Sheffield,” he said proudly. “She called me ‘Papa’ again.”
Elizabeth smiled knowingly. “What did you promise her?”
He grinned largely. “It is our secret. She made me swear not to tell her mama.”
“You plan to spoil our child,” she accused.
“Please do not make me promise not to shower her with a few pleasures she might have done without because I was not there. I missed too much of her life, Elizabeth. I can never have those moments.”
She reached across the coach to squeeze his knee. “No reason exists for you to purchase her love, William. Lizzy shallsimply be happy to have you in her life.”
He turned his head to look out the window. “Will she?” he asked, and she noted the tears that had formed in his eyes. “Before I came to Brighton, Elizabeth Anne remained safe.”
She said softly. “I imagine Lizzy will be a bit more frightened of strangers than usual, but she is young and quite intelligent. I am certain she will outgrow this mishap. We must simply be vigilant and assist in her healing.”
“I am not speaking only of what Townsend executed against her. We can show her how the law has sent Townsend away, and he will never harm her again. Of what I speak is how my presence in her life changes her from the beloved child of a lieutenant in the British Royal Navy to the by-blow of a wealthy man. In many ways, I have ruined her chances for a future that will not bring her shame. Perhaps I should go away again. I cannot bear to think I have brought harm to her.”
The tears escaped his eyes then, and he buried his face in his hands. “Why did we not wait for our vows?”
“Because we were in love, and we were both too certain of how our consequence would prevail.”
He did not look up when he said, “I still love you, but perhaps I should leave you with Sheffield. Disappear from your life.”
“Mr. Darcy,” she said in sharp tones. “If you were foolish enough to make good on your threat, then Lady Catherine will have won. Her scheme would know success. She will have separated us, which always has been her purpose. Even if you would finally agree to marry your cousin, my lie will have been exposed. It is not as if Lizzy and I can return to Brighton and continue to be ‘Dartmores.’ Moreover, my doing so would not be fair to Mr. Sheffield. He is a man built for a family, one of his own, not one borrowed from another. Is that what you wish for a man who served you for nearly twenty years? Is that what you want for me and your daughter?”
“You know it is not,” he argued, wiping away his tears. “If I had my wish, I would make you my wife as quickly as thelaw would allow our joining, but doing so would not protect Elizabeth Anne. She was born out of wedlock. My wealth will protect her to some extent, but not completely. I struck Townsend today because he called our Lizzy a ‘bastard.’ I fear I cannot strike every man who does so, for there will be many.”
His words had touched her heart almost as deeply as had his promises of affection. What she was about to tell him would either make or break their relationship. “What if we possessed a means to legitimatize Lizzy’s birth?” she asked, fully demanding his attention.
“Tell me. Anything. I will do anything. No matter the cost,” he assured. He sat forward in interest.
“There will be no financial cost, per se; yet, there will be a cost to you and me,” she stated. “We will spend our lives, theoretically, living in sin, and we will require the assistance of your sister and my father, as well as my Aunt and Uncle Gardiner.”
His features changed from confusion to true interest. “Perhaps you should tell me what you have in mind.”
She dug in the satchel resting on the seat beside her and withdrew two rolled documents. “Let us begin with these.” She handed them over and waited until he had read each of them. Elizabeth had never been so nervous in her life. Would he agree to what she offered?
“Are these forgeries?” he asked.
“Not exactly,” she responded.
He kept both papers upon his lap and leaned back into his seat as if seeing her for the first time. “Then you must explain further.”
Elizabeth swallowed her concerns, meeting his steady gaze with one of her own. “It all started when my father thought to press Mr. Sheffield into marrying me. It was then that I told your former servant I suspected I was with child. By that time, I had missed my monthlies twice, and my Scottish relatives had refused to take me in in my condition, but they had suggested in their letter to Mr. Bennet that if we could bring the father of thechild up to snuff, they would be glad to stand as witnesses to our joining in Scotland.”
“I am listening,” he said, again looking closer at the pages resting upon his knees. “If I am not mistaken, this is Sheffield’s script, is it not? He taught me to mimic his style of writing. When I was young, I could use both hands equally for throwing a ball or eating or writing, although, like Mr. Collins, I showed a slight preference for my left. Father and Sheffield decided it would be best if I developed my right hand for writing letters of importance so as not to leave ink smears on legal papers. Smears that later could be misconstrued as changes in the document. How many times I traced my name on the paper where Sheffield had written it out for me, I do not care to fathom. Traced whole phrases and sentences also. Soon his penmanship and mine were very much the same, except I never quite manage the swirl on the ‘F’ in ‘Fitzwilliam.’”
She confirmed his suspicions with a nod of her head. “In the beginning, we, meaning my father and Mr. Sheffield and I, considered some sort of marriage by proxy; Mr. Sheffield and I even thought to travel to the Continent for such a marriage, but, even if we could have found a means to prove you alive and in agreement to our joining, England does not recognize a marriage by proxy as valid under the church law. Both parties must be able to say whether he or she agrees to the marriage. In a proxy marriage, that cannot happen.”
“No one marries by proxy except our kings and queens,” he grumbled.
