Page 67 of The Colonel's Ungovernable Governess
She smiled easily. “I see ‘Edward.’ It appears I have learned something of my future father-in-marriage’s temperament and something private about my betrothed in one fell sweep. We must alter one of those bit of information immediately. Come closer, Edward,” she ordered in a soft loving tone, which suited him well, for his heart had been lonely too long.
“Woman, you will be the death of me,” he groaned as he rose up on his knees to kiss her soundly.
“But what a lovely way to die, sir,” she murmured when they again came up for air.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Though their conversation regarding their future home and the their responsibilities to family and each other continued on and off over the next few days. Though, in truth, they shared more of their childhoods and beliefs regarding religion and science and government than they did about their preferences for when they would marry, where they would live, and how they would raise their children, if they were so blessed. Both appeared not to wish to express an opinion, as if they feared they would disappoint the other.
“You and Miss Romfield appear to be ‘dancing’ about those subjects you should be addressing,” Darcy said as they departed the Jennings’s property. Darcy had wanted to view the damaged portraits for himself so he would know who to contact for the repairs and restoration.
“Jocelyn appears to want a bit of freedom,” Edward admitted. “A freedom I am not in a position to provide her as Matlock’s ‘spare.’ The only means I can conceive for us to build a future together is for me to resign my commission or to postpone the wedding until after the war. Though we appear to have the upper hand at the moment, the British government has been in this position previously without results. The war has dragged on for some twenty years. Even if we waited, we would be required to live with father or Lindale.”
“I have said so previously, but I will again offer you the use of Pemberley’s dower house, which would provide more privacy than you would experience elsewhere,” Darcy said. “Though I cannot guarantee Mrs. Darcy would not have a great influence on your lovely bride.”
“They have become as thick as thieves, have they not? I am glad for Jocelyn in that manner.”
“Though Mary is nearby, Elizabeth misses her sisters, and, of course, she adores you,” Darcy said as he mounted his horse. “Easy for her to want you happy with Miss Romfield.”
Edward mounted also before saying, “Jocelyn has latched onto the idea of our remaining at Babbington and overseeing the estate and Vincent’s official ascension to the earldom. Although such sounds ideal, neither of us has any real concept of running an estate.”
“A good land manager could keep the estate from faltering until you are more settled in the role. Such a man could even hold your hand, as well as Vincent’s, at the same time. I think it would do the boy more harm than good for him to return to William’s Wood. He has gained confidence under your and Miss Romfield’s tutelage, and, despite what you think you lack in the skills to run an estate, you possess other skills, equally as important. You know the benefit of the ‘group’ working together to accomplish a task, and you know how to inspire men to do your bidding. You know enough of fair prices for goods and the idea of living within a budget to survive upon an estate. You possess skills you could not learn from either Lindale or Matlock.
“Meanwhile, Miss Romfield could easily learn her role. Look upon how quickly she became ‘governess’ to the twins and assisted in running William’s Wood to better their education. As we both are aware, I permit Elizabeth more leeway than do many other men of our station. I often hear the whispered jeers of other gentlemen, who think me ‘henpecked’ by some brash female, but I know the depths to which Elizabeth would go to leave the Darcy legacy intact and in good hands. Such is the only validation I require.”
“Yet, Jocelyn and I have no such legacy to defend,” Edward argued.
“You err, Cousin. You will one day be the Earl of Matlock. I honor my uncle for how he has guided the earldom, but, as ‘my’ Pemberley is not my father’s beloved estate, your earldom will not be a copy of his, for, by the time you are named ‘Matlock,’ this land will be changed so dramatically, it will be unrecognizable to those of your father’s generation. My revered father has been gone less than ten years, but, if he could return to life for just one day, he would know wonder to see the growth of cities such as Manchester and Birmingham and York, as well as the amount of traffic on the roads from those centers to London and back again on a regular basis. Your time in America and in Europe in service to the Army has taught you resilience, tolerance, and bravery. You may do anything you set your mind to completing, but you must take the first step. Marry Miss Romfield and walk hand-in-hand into the future together. You will make mistakes, but do not start your life together with this particular ‘mistake.’ Proudly announce your affection for the woman and stand together against those who doubt you.”
* * *
“When did you know you loved Mr. Darcy?” Jocelyn asked as she and Mrs. Darcy sat together in the small sitting room. Earlier, they had sat contentedly together and read several favorite poems to each other, but Jocelyn’s mind was on her betrothed, who, though an obvious leader of men, often appeared indecisive about his own future, as well as ‘their’ future.
“Believe it or not, I did not initially consider my dear husband as possessing a suitable potential as a husband, and he, upon our first encounter said I was ‘tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt’ him.”
“No!” Jocelyn gasped. “How did you come together? Obviously, you must have forgiven him.”
Mrs. Darcy snorted her laughter. “When Mr. Darcy proposed the first time, he spoke of how, despite disapproving of my family, he would, nevertheless, extend his hand to me, though it was against his better judgement to do so. When I refused and added a few choice remarks regarding his insufferable pride, he did something completely unpredictable: He wrote me a letter admitting his pride, while explaining he had been taught he had a ‘right’ to his familial pride, while expressing how he had come to view my family’s many eccentricities. And, he was correct. There were many inappropriate remarks from my father, mother, and sisters and actions which I had found cringeworthy, but I, instinctively, disagreed when he did likewise. Initially, I despised him more for his lack of an honest apology for, as is typical of my husband, he spoke the truth. Yet, the more often I read his explanation, the more I chose to agree honestly with his observations. We were more alike than either of us initially cared to admit.
“When it appeared we would never encounter each other again, Mr. Darcy secretly stepped in to assist my family with a dire situation. Despite his pride, he did all he could to assist my father, for the man truly loved me. I had already changed my mind about him, but his selflessness won both my heart and my loyalty, for he acted against his principles to save my family from ruin, and he wanted no glory in others knowing of his actions.”
“Amazing,” Jocelyn whispered. “He did it all for you.”
“He restored my belief in human goodness. He broke down the shield I held high to deflect his ‘tolerable’ comment. When you find real love, Jocelyn, it does not demand anything of you. Rather it fills you with everything you never knew you wanted.”
“Do many insist upon saying you married him for his fortune?” Jocelyn asked.
“I know I did not, which is all that is important, and those who care to look upon us when we are together know of our mutual devotion. I often say I would live with Fitzwilliam Darcy in one of his tenant cottages, without complaint. As long as he was there. In my humble opinion, such as it is, one day we should all be another person’s most favorite thing in the world. Being so restores one’s belief in the power of love,” the lady shared.
“Were you ever in love before you met Mr. Darcy?” Jocelyn asked.
“I would like to respond with a ‘yes,’ but now I realize I simply wished for a beau who would prefer me over Jane,” Mrs. Darcy admitted. “It never happened until Mr. Darcy came along. My dear Fitzwilliam once claimed Jane smiled too much.” Mrs. Darcy began to chuckle, but sobered quickly. “Do not hold on to the wrong person, Jocelyn. Do not permit the expectations of others, including mine, to guide your choices. I truly think you and the colonel will know happiness, but do not make your decisions based on my instincts. Neither I nor the others should sway you in that manner. Marriage is forever, but still remember that when the right person finds you, he will never leave, and you will never wish him gone away. Such connections mean the person will always stay and you may always praise God for placing you in his path.”
* * *
“Whose carriage?” Edward asked when he and Darcy spotted the coach on the entrance road.
“I cannot say with any certainty, but it appears the driver in the box is Mr. Robertson.”
