Page 35 of The Colonel's Ungovernable Governess
“No. Annabelle will be at my side.” He watched as the young people separated to join their families. The girl stood with the Carltons, a well-respected family among the landed gentry, whose estate was some five miles removed from the church to the south.
The gentlemen both joined the Dubrows. “The dark-haired youth must be Anthony Dubrow,” Edward thought. It had been years since he had encountered any from the family. They were from the aristocracy, but were not consideredgoodton.
Edward was quite surprised the Carltons would permit their daughter to associate with the Dubrows’ son. Though she would eventually be a baroness if she could bring Anthony Dubrow up to snuff, in Edward’s opinion, such would be a heavy price to pay to be a baroness. Yet, he could not protect the world from making poor decisions. He had recently made his own mistake. He would prefer to court Miss Lambert, but he had agreed to court the unknown Miss Romfield.
“I will watch both and, later, thank Miss Lambert privately for the information,” he said softly. “If you would, please ask Darcy if he is familiar with the unknown young man. I doubt he will recognize the fellow, but it is worth the time of the question.”
* * *
As he had expected, Darcy did not recognize the young man, and it was not as if Edward could ask Dubrow. They had never been friendly, and he held no doubt the man would refuse him.
To make matters worse, Edward had received a late express from his superiors, ordering him back to Derbyshire and Yorkshire for recruiting purposes and for training those to be sent to the front. The British Army was preparing for a major push, now that Napoleon had been captured. They required bodies. Even so, he would not send any of those he convinced to join the war off without a “special preparation,” a large dose of the reality of war. He had served on both the Continent and the American front and knew of what he spoke.
Therefore, after the rest of the house retired on Sunday evening, he had made his way to Miss Lambert’s quarters. He told himself he simply meant to inform the lady of his departure on Tuesday, but, in reality, he was drawn to the woman like a moth to a flame and simply wished to look upon her features. For her sake, he wanted no one to view him near her quarters. He knocked lightly and waited, but she did not answer right away. He was wondering whether to knock a second time or leave. After all, he could speak to her tomorrow, for he would not depart tomorrow. There was time. He simply could not think of leaving her. He enjoyed being with her. Enjoyed knowing she was somewhere in the same house as he. He knew, in truth, his excuse regarding Lady Annabelle could be delivered at another time. Therefore, he made to leave just as the door cracked open a few inches.
“Colonel?” she said softly. “Is something amiss with the children?”
“No.” He shook his head in the negative. “I simply wished to speak to you regarding a situation.”
She edged the door open, but he stayed where he was. Dear God, the image of her with her hair down and swept over her shoulders and her wearing a simple gown and robe would haunt him for the remainder of his days. “What has occurred?”
He swallowed his desire for her and focused his eyes on a place a bit over her head. “You are aware the Darcys’ plan to depart in the morning.”
“I do,” she said on what sounded as a breathy exhale, and he wondered if she was as moved as was he.
“I have received an express only an hour prior from my commanding officer.” He briefly closed his eyes and silently counted to ten, while fisting his hands so as not to reach for her. This had been a mistake. “I will be leaving Tuesday morning. Likely for three, perhaps four days. I will generally be at Maitland Manor, if you require me. Send someone, and I will come right away.”
“I understand,” she said softly and reached for his hand.
He should not have submitted, but it was not in his nature to deny anyone, that is, but himself.
“I fear Lady Annabelle will attempt to defy you in my absence,” he said as his other hand reached to caress the softness of her cheek. It was as if he was touching heaven. “Send for me. I will come immediately,” he repeated. “You may be required to prevent chaos in my absence. I will ask that you not go into the village or permit the children, including Lady Annabelle, to do so. One of the young men, the shorter one with dark hair, you noted at the church is a member of the Dubrow family. They are from the aristocracy, but are considered quite gauche. Many of thetonavoid them. I am still not confident who the other young man is.”
“I will do my best,” she assured.
“Rose,” he whispered. “I am not free . . .”
She lifted up on her toes gently to brush her lips against his before he could say the words they already intrinsically knew: She was a servant, and he was the son of an earl. Even so, he immediately caught her to him. He wanted her. Before he could consider the inappropriateness of his action, he had her in his arms. “What am I doing?” he groaned before his mouth covered hers.
* * *
Jocelyn knew immediately she had made a mistake. Not in kissing this particular man, for she wanted nothing more than to be in his arms, but she could not have him. Like it or not, she was promised to another, and, though she was angry with her parents for arranging a marriage for her without her knowledge, Jocelyn knew she must return to Kent and speak her acceptance of the gentleman.
The colonel thought her a servant in his brother’s house. She would be what was termed as a common seduction. She could not bear it. She was no “gentry mort.” Not her. She wanted the dream. The foolish dream all young women desire: A man who loved, not just desired her. Therefore, she shoved her way from his hold.
“I cannot,” she managed, as she fought to claim a full breath.
He held on to the door’s frame as if the portal was the only thing holding him in place. “Neither can I,” he said as his chest heaved. “I am acting in my brother’s stead, and Lindale would never abuse a servant in his household. Neither may I think to do so. We were not taught to act thusly. Please say you will forgive me. You are essential to the healing of Lady Lindale’s children, and I would never permit them to know harm.” He took a purposeful step backwards. And then another. And another. With a slight bow of respect, he turned sharply and walked away, while Jocelyn’s knees buckled beneath her, and she sank to the floor.
The feel of his mouth on hers remained. It would always remain in her memory. Tears filled her eyes. How could she tolerate an ordinary man when she had experienced perfection?
* * *
They had avoided each other as much as was possible as they bid the Darcys farewell. Lady Annabelle had taken to her quarters and would not even agree to permit the twins in. If Jocelyn could present the girl a good shake and load it with common sense, she would do so.
“If you require our assistance,” Elizabeth Darcy had said as she presented Jocelyn a hug, “send word. One of us will come post haste.”
“I shall be well,” Jocelyn assured.
