Page 31 of Falling for You
“It is Rome. If you think about it. It is. Hunter is your best friend, and he’s not here. I’m not your girlfriend, but I am here. So when it comes to Olivia, I am the nanny.” She places the roasted vegetable pan down on the counter.
“Ems.” I reach for her, grasping her hands in mine, “You are so much more and you know it. You are still one of my best friends and I’d love to have you with me for support. You make everything better.”
She flinches when I say she’s one of my best friends, but so brief that I almost would have missed it if I blinked.
“Okay, I’ll be there in a second. I just need… a minute.” She turns from me and goes down the hall to the bathroom.
Walking back to the living room I see Wayne and Diane sitting closely on my couch with Olivia. Tears in both of their eyes are visible even from here. I turn to go out on the deck to start the grill for burgers. I don’t want to intrude, I can only imagine how hard this transition is for them.
Once the burgers are on, I come back in and face the Ryans.
“Roman, I just… I want you to know that this decision to follow through with Blair’s final wishes is so hard for us. Olivia is a piece of our daughter, and keeping her would be selfish. You always deserved the chance to get to know her and all the good that Blair passed down to your daughter.” Diane wipes her eyes.
As I sit down, I hear Emma coming down the hallway. She quietly takes her place next to me.
“I completely understand how hard this must be for you. I know we haven’t discussed things yet, but you are absolutely welcome to still be a part of her life.”
Ems chooses a seat that is close, but not too close that I’m going to misconstrue what her being here means. She’s setting a clear boundary and I should respect it.
“Oh, that makes me so happy. I couldn’t leave this girl knowing I’d never see her again.” Diane smiles wide at Wayne.
“How is this going to work then?” Wayne asks. “Did’ya get that paternity test done?”
“Yes, sir. I went this morning with Olivia. I should have the results tomorrow. But I have no doubt you’re telling the truth. The test is a formality in my eyes. Your story seems genuine, and I know you probably don’t believe it but I’m ready to step up. Blair and I might not have had a relationship, but I’m ready to have one with our daughter.” Emma’s body goes tense next to mine. I cringe inwardly. That was an asshole thing to bring up. “Well, why don’t we move to the kitchen, the burgers should be done soon.” I rub my palms on my pants before pushing up to lead the way.
I grab the car seat on my way by the table and place Olivia at the head of the table where we can all see her. I wish I had one of those swings for babies. I feel bad when she’s all cramped up in the car seat. But she doesn’t seem to mind.
Dinner with the Ryans was… eye opening.
All the things that Blair had to endure and fight to keep her body going during her pregnancy, and after to have a few short months with Olivia. She’s a true fighter and I’m in awe of her. Giving Olivia to me has to be the hardest thing that the Ryans are doing right now in the midst of their grieving.
I can’t take that for granted. I will dedicate the rest of my life to being the best dad to Olivia, just like Blair did, no matter how short time was for her.
We exchanged phone numbers among the four of us and I promised to let them see her whenever they want, they are welcome to call me anytime they want to. Emma promised to send photos to Diane everyday.
The visit with them was good. And bittersweet when they left.
Now it’s my turn to give Olivia the world.
I crack my eye open and notice that it’s still pitch black in my room. I listen for another second and hear the wail of a baby.
I sit up, taking a minute to orient myself.
Right. I’m at Rome’s, and Olivia is next door. Oh, am I on night duty? Did he wake up too? I guess that’s something we should have decided before going to bed.
I throw the covers back and run to her room. I don’t want her in there alone, and the thought that I didn’t hear her makes me nervous. How long has she been in there crying alone? It’s been a day and I’m already going to give her a complex to talk about on the couch with her therapist.
The sight that greets me when I turn into her room slams me in the chest and makes my heart skip a beat.
Rome is holding Olivia to his chest and bouncing her as she cries. “I’m so lost here, baby girl. Please help me,” he whispers into the top of her head.
“Need some help?” I ask quietly into the stillness of the room.
His head snaps to where I stand in the doorway. “I’m sorry. I was trying to get her to quiet before we woke you up. But I’ve tried everything.”
I walk over to the rocking chair and sit down, holding my arms out for him to place Olivia in my arms. Relief washes over me that she wasn’t in here alone, and upset.
“I tried to rock her.” He slides her gently into my arms.
