Page 57 of I Choose You
The drive home wasn’t nearly long enough for me to decompress. I couldn’t do anything about Claire right now. I wasn’t going to change her mind tonight. She would figure it out eventually. She wanted me just as much as I wanted her. One roll in the sheets was not enough. It was never going to be enough. But if work stress was part of the problem, that I could do something about.
I broke out my laptop and started researching custom, handcrafted light manufacturers. I didn’t have the designs saved; Claire had drafted and submitted them, but I could at least reach out and start the inquiries. I shot off a dozen emails, asking about lead time, materials used in the construction, and pricing structure.
I didn’t expect a response back tonight. It was late, even for those on the West Coast, so I was surprised when just a few minutes after my inquiry went out, I got a message back from one of them. His lead time was only three to four weeks, and his specialty was in period lighting specifically. I thanked him for his quick reply and told him I would get in touchwith him in the morning with the designs so we could get the pricing nailed down.
One less reason for Claire to use to keep us apart. We had plenty of work left that needed to get finished between now and when the new lighting fixtures would be in. I needed to adjust the electrician’s schedule, and staging for the lights would need to be moved out of the way. The ceiling was being repaired and repainted. We could do the prep work now; it would just be the painting that would be set back. But overall, we could work around the delay, minimizing the impact. I would have to see what could be done to get a refund from Baudelaire Custom Lighting, although I wasn’t optimistic that would be an option.
Whatever it took, I was getting this project done on time and under budget. Come hell or high water, I would ensure that Claire didn’t lose her job over my construction project.
A little voice inside my head questioned whether I should just let the pieces fall where they may. Maybe if Claire didn’t have a job to go back to, she wouldn’t have a reason to leave. Solve another of Claire’s concerns. But I could never do that to her. She loved her job, loved the independence it represented. No. We were going to get this project done. And we would do it together.
19
Claire
My morning meditation wasn’t doing its job. It was supposed to help me clear my mind. Find peace and serenity in the everyday. Instead, I felt antsy and uncomfortable.
Ever since Reid left last night, I had a sense of restlessness.
Yesterday, when he called me out for pretending, I wanted to be incensed, but he was right. I thought I had been doing a good job of keeping my practiced positive mask in place, but he saw through it. He saw me, the real me, when no one else ever had.
I had been honest with him though. It wasn’t smart to start something. If things went south, we would need to figure out a way to work with each other every day for the next few months. If things went well, it would end anyway when I packed up and left.
Just thinking about leaving made me want to crawl into a hole.
We weren’t even halfway through the construction. We could have months together, enjoying each other like we did last night.
But then what?
Would he come to the DeLuca family dinner, sit around the table talking politics and news with my dad? Hardly.
I moved into my morning yoga routine, giving up the meditation for today. My limbs were loose and ready to be stretched, reminding me of how relaxed Reid had made me feel. My body heated as the memory of his warm, hard body pressed against me played in my head. Being with Reid had been so carefree and easy. We found our rhythm like we had been together forever. He played my body like he knew its every secret.
Ugh. That boy had moved into my brain. He took up residence and refused to concede an inch of space for thinking about anything else. Well, not boy. He was young, but he was certainly all man.
I shook out my limbs, finishing my yoga routine. I was hot and sweaty, and it wasn’t just because of yoga.
I needed to get to work finding a new lighting manufacturer. I needed to talk to Andrew to give him a heads-up on the latest development—and hope and pray that he wouldn’t hold it against me. And I needed to see Reid. Make sure we were still good.
The whole reason I had said no to starting something was to make sure we stayed friends. Would it have been wiser to do that before we slept together… obviously. But too late for that. And I couldn’t bring myself to regret it.
The library was a cacophony of noise when I showed up. The weather had turned frigid, a cold snap settling in for a few days making sure that Reid and his team stayed indoors. They had taken over a couple of rooms near my office for their woodworking tasks. Dale and Shawn were still workingtheir way through the doors while Reid and Richie had set up the furniture restoration workshop in the other room.
“Good morning, beautiful,” Reid said, coming out of the workroom and making his way to me. I shot him a warning glare before darting my eyes around the room to see if anyone else could hear us. The sounds of hammering and sanding drowned us out.
“Shh. What are you doing?”
Reid reached behind him, grabbing his sweatshirt and dragging it over his head. A peek of his abs was visible, along with those sexy iliac furrows he had, and I couldn’t pull my eyes away from them.
“Are you embarrassed by me?” he asked. “Because it doesn’t look like it.” I could hear the cockiness in his voice before I even looked up. Although, in fairness, he had just caught me staring at his body like I was studying it for an exam.
“I’m not embarrassed, but I don’t want to announce it either. Especially since it’s not happening again.”
“That’s right.” He nodded like that conversation had escaped his memory. “You did say something ridiculous like that last night, didn’t you? It’s okay, we all say things we don’t mean sometimes.”
“I do mean it. It’s not happening again.”
“What’s not happening again?” Shawn was standing behind Reid. I hadn’t even seen him walk up, my eyes solely focused as they were on Reid.
