Page 60 of Surrender Your Grace
“I don’t know if I can.” Her eyes met his, vulnerable and pleading. “Will you stay with me?”
“Nothing could tear me away.”
He helped her settle back against the pillows then pulled the coverlet to her chin. She reached for his hand again, delicate, trembling fingers curling around his. Her eyes, heavy with sorrow, closed, and she drifted into an exhausted sleep.
Andrew stared into the fire, listening to it crackle as her breathing deepened. Tonight, grief kept silent vigil. Tomorrow, they’d have to pick up the pieces and carry on—again. And he was running out of ways to do that.
Chapter 18
Andrew stayed at her bedside day and night. On the morning of the third day, he brought her home. Even then she was never alone. He had his secretary quietly managing or canceling engagements. When he needed sleep or important business required his attention, his mother or Maggie kept watch. But even with their care, fever claimed her halfway through the second week, stealing what strength she’d gained.
By the third week, her body was healing, and the physician declared her fit; by the sixth, her spirit was not. Pale, withdrawn, and quiet, she refused company other than family. Surprisingly, Elizabeth visited daily, regaling her with the latest gossip—though even scandal failed to lift her mood.
She slept more than Andrew thought she should and only picked at her food. He worried if she didn’t break the grip her grief had on her, she would become a veritable recluse in their home.Therefore, he planned to get Cici out of the house, like it or not.
He found her in the music room, not playing. The pianoforte had been silent for weeks. “I’ve sent Mary for your cloak. We’re going for a ride,” he announced from the doorway.
Her eyes shot to the windows and the trees long since bare of leaves beyond. “It’s too cold.”
“Nonsense. It’s a lovely autumn day, and the fresh air will be good for you.”
“You sound like your sister,” she grumbled.
“A very wise young woman.” He walked to where she sat, curled up in a chair, and extended his hand for her to take. “This outing will put a little color back into your cheeks.”
She opened her mouth to protest further, but he stopped her with a look.“We’re going, Cici. I can lift you or lead you.”
“I was just going to say I’ll need my parasol and muff as well.”Her compliance took him by surprise. It must have shown on his face because she huffed a small laugh, the first positive emotion she had shown since losing the baby.
He hugged her close and kissed her forehead.“I’m sorry for the scolding.”
“Don’t apologize.I’ve disputed the grass being green and the sky blue in the past few weeks.I’m sure you expect an argument from me at every turn now.”
“You’ve had every reason to be out of sorts.But I’m eager for us to move ahead.We won’t forget our loss, but we cannot allow our grief to consume us.”
“You’re right,” she agreed, her eyes distant. “It’s just... it’s been difficult beyond words.” She hesitated, pressing a hand to her belly. “How do you grieve so much for someone you never knew?”
Andrew’s voice barely rose above a breath. “She was a part of you.”
“No, Andrew.Hewas a part of us.”
Uncaring that Tibbs waited at the doorway with his topcoat and her maid, Mary, waited with her fur-lined cloak, bonnet, and muff, he brushed his lips over hers and held her close.
“Shall we go?” he asked, more gently than before, and she nodded in agreement.
He escorted her to the phaeton where a groom held his matched black horses. Andrew handed her up then climbed in beside her.
Smiling, which was a welcome change, she breathed in the crisp autumn air and sighed. “This was a wonderful idea, Andrew. I stayed cooped up in that house for entirely too long.”
He called to his team and started off to the park at a brisk pace.Even though the weather was mild, Cici pulled her fur collar closer around her. But she didn’t complain, only slipped her arm through his and leaned in to his side.
It was well before the fashionable hour, which was as Andrew intended. For her first outing, she needed to enjoy the fresh air without the pestering of busybodies who were looking for more idle gossip. Although there would be some genuine well-wishers, he wanted to ease her back into the social scene.
Turning down Park Lane, he entered through the Stanhope Gate, purposefully avoiding the always crowded Ring.Members of the ton wanted to be seen while riding or promenading, which was more of a social event.Cici didn’t need that just yet.
“Thank you for taking such good care of me these past few weeks, Andrew.I know you put much of your business aside, so you could dance attendance on me.”
“You are my wife, Cici.Where else would I have been but at your side during this trying time?”
