Page 98 of Charlotte's Reckoning
She pulled out of his arms, moving quickly away, her back to him so he wouldn’t see how difficult this was for her. “It’s getting late,” she said hoarsely.
“It’s too soon after Fenton.”
At his assumption, she couldn’t help but turn and ask, “What?”
“You loved him—”
“I did, and I miss him,” she readily admitted. “But I wasn’t in love with him.”
“Then, why do you hesitate? Surely you can feel the spark between us.”
“Why…” she sighed, raising a trembling hand to rub her forehead. “Where do I begin?”
“Nowhere. Because nothing matters to me except you.” The frustration in his voice was palpable.
“How can it not? Or don’t you recall how we met and where we were united?”
“You told me your story. None of that was your fault, Charlotte.”
“Do you think anyone cares about my story after what I’ve become?”
“I care! I’d be a hypocrite to condemn you when my past is far from pristine.”
“You are a man,” she whispered, the words almost lost in the patter of the rain on the roof. “Women are not so easily forgiven. I’m accosted when I shopand laughed at when I fall in the mud. I’m a pariah in this town, Seth. But you are the sheriff—a leader, the upholder of justice, powerful, and influential. You’re appointed now, but you’ll need to be elected to continue serving. I can’t allow you to ruin your chances by associating with me.”
“It’s a job, Charlotte. Influence and power don’t matter to me,” he replied with conviction, cutting the distance between them in half.
“You forgot justice,” she reminded him. “It may not matter now, in the heat of the moment, but it will. And that matters a great deal to me.” She moved to the cold fireplace, putting more space between them because she was very near to saying to hell with everything and throwing herself into his arms. But she couldn’t. For his sake, she mustn’t.
“Charlotte—” he uttered, clearly frustrated and determined to continue the argument.
“Please,” she insisted, speaking over him. “Accept my gratitude for your kindness, but that is all I’m at liberty to give. I’m sorry.”
His curse was inaudible over a boom of thunder, but she read his lips and understood his frustration because she felt it, too.
Before she did something foolish or broke down in tears, she needed him to get out. Forcing herself to remain calm, she hoped for an equally calm voice when she suggested, “You should go before the storm worsens.”
“My deputies will include your cabin on their nightly rounds from here on out. I wish there was more I could do.”
“I’ll keep my shotgun handy,” she assured him, wishing he would leave so she could mourn what might have been. “I do so appreciate your concern, Sheriff.”
“Seth,” he corrected her.
“Good night, Seth,” she whispered.
Staring at her in the low light, a wealth of emotion glimmered in his eyes. If he took that next step, she would give in to the desire that consumed her. But he didn’t, his heated gaze lingering but stopping there before he finally turned and walked out.
When the door closed and the latch he’d repaired clicked with finality, she rested her head on the battered wood of the mantelpiece.
The top lawman in town getting involved with a disreputable madam—nothing but a box herder to some, and a filthy whore to many—would set off a firestorm of salacious gossip. She could already hear the whispered criticisms and feel the judgment. He was better off staying clear of her.
After extinguishing the oil lamp in the kitchen, the darkness enveloped her as she walked to her empty bed; the silence amplified her feelings of solitude. There was little hope of anything else in her future. Everyone knewwho and what she was, and she couldn’t escape it. Escaping Laramie was the only way to leave it all behind. Going from bad to worse was possible, but unlikely, given her already dire situation. But how could she go anywhere without money?
Charlotte rolled onto her side, indulging in tears and self-pity as the heavens opened and a similar deluge beat down on her roof.
***
The rain cleared overnight, and a bright, cloudless morning followed. After a nearly sleepless night, the cheerfully chirping birds were enough to make her sick.
