Page 31 of Chasing Stars
“So, it’s Saturday night. Any big plans?” Joy asks, jarring me out of my memory. She’s counting the cash in the register while I straighten the display. We’re still open for another hour, but Joy likes to get a jump start on closing when it’s slow.
“If you count scrolling my phone until my eyes blur, then yep,” I mutter sarcastically.
“Jenna! Come on, that’s no way to spend a Saturday night,” Joy chastises with a grin.
“Well, my TV is from 1997, and I still don’t have cable or internet, so that’s what I’m doing.” I lift a shoulder. “I don’t mind it. When I get really bored, I stream Netflix on my phone. I just get tired of holding it in front of my face. Besides, I’m so exhausted, I’ll probably be asleep before ten.” I give her a lazy smirk, feigning a yawn.
“No,” Joy whines. “Come with me and Leo to the brewery. They’re having a fall festival with all the seasonal beer flights.”
“I don’t know,” I say, knitting my brow.
I have worked with Joy’s brother Leo a few times now. He seems nice. Miles mentioned that they’re buddies. Leo reminds me a lot of him—just less responsible. We had a lot of downtime when I worked with him the other day. He told me he teaches surfing to vacationers in the summer and spends the off-season working here for his little sister. He can’t stand a nine-to-five, orso he says. He’s nice enough though, and Joy’s offer is tempting. It beats staying home alone feeling sorry for myself again.
Then again, Leo and Miles are friends, and I haven’t spoken to Miles since I left his office last week. He’s reached out a few times, but I’ve kept my responses short. I don’t want to encourage him when I’m still planning to leave. Maybe Icouldbe swayed to start over here in Cape May, but Miles told me himself he’s not great at commitment. I’ve been through enough—I have to protect my heart. If I go tonight, Miles might be there. As much as I desperately want to see him, I reallydon’t. It’ll only make this harder. The best thing I can do is keep things between us friendly and professional.
Lately, I’ve been thinking that it’s time for a big change, but I don’t know what. The more I look at the old photos in the house, the less I recognize the girl I used to be. I’ve spent so long taking care of my mom, it’s almost as if I’ve lost myself completely. Now I realize I’ve been going through the motions for years—content with mediocrity. It was as if I had to get through my mother’s illness, wait for her to die, andthenfigure out who I am and what I want.
The truth is, I had been discontented at work for a while—never being awarded the opportunity for promotion. Never being trusted enough to make project decisions on my own. I never had the courage to make a change because I was so exhausted in my personal life. I used to wake up every morning at 3 a.m., check on Mom’s breathing, reposition her if needed. Now, I sleep through the night—I’m free. But as soon as that thought creeps into my head, I berate myself for feeling that way. Grief is so complicated. No one tells you that it can also be laced with relief.
I could move out near Morgan and start completely fresh. Morgan is my oldest friend. She’s seen me through my darkest days. I don’t have anyone else now, so why not move out nearher? I can start over there and put myself first for the first time in alongtime. But something doesn’t feel completely right about that and I don’t know why. And then, it’s as if the universe hears my thoughts.
The front door jingles before Joy can convince me, signaling we have a customer. A soft gasp escapes me. If I was tired before, I’m wide awake now. My cousin Jake saunters in, followed by my Aunt Leona, and I was not prepared for this in the least.
“Jenna.” Jake sounds as surprised as I feel. “What are you doing here?” he asks me for the second time in a week.
“I work here.” I level my voice.Be cool.
“You work here?” Jake’s brow furrows, but he appears to recover quickly. “I thought you—” He pauses and clears his throat. “Never mind.”
“Jenna Rose Rossi, is that you?” Aunt Leona’s voice is sharper than I expect. She peers around Jake’s shoulders, eyes sweeping over me. Then, raw emotion clouds her features, her eyes glistening. “I haven’t seen you since you were a girl,” she says, her voice barely above a whisper.
“I know,” I murmur. “I’m sorry for that.” My eyes sting as I fight back unexpected tears. I wasn’t prepared to see my father’s sister tonight. In the hardware store of all places.
“How long have you been back?” Aunt Leona asks, her voice tender with surprise.
I suck in a breath and glance at Joy for encouragement, but she’s way too enraptured by the scene before her. I turn back to Jake and his mom. “My mom died… I thought you heard,” I mutter, pushing down the resentment that no one from my dad’s side of the family so much as reached out to me. I assumed they would have heard through the cousins my mom kept in touch with, but maybe not. “I didn’t know she still had our house here until a couple of weeks ago. I came back to sell it, but it needs too much work, so I’m staying for a bit.” I continue, raising myeyebrows with a soft exhale. It’s been so long since I’ve seen Aunt Leona, and suddenly, I want nothing more than to fold her into a hug—despite her falling out with my mom. I don’t know what happened between them, but suddenly, none of it matters. It’s like seeing my dad again. I can’t help it; my eyes fill with fresh tears, and I have to bat them away.
“I did hear about your mother,” she says gently, her voice thick with emotion. “I’m so sorry, dear.” She steps closer, reaching for my hand. I let her take it. “I know things were…strained…when your father passed, but I want you to know—I’ve always missed you. When you and Jake were in college together, he used to fill me in on how you were doing. It warmed my heart.” Aunt Leona gives a sad smile. “I’d love to know how you’re doing now.”
“Thank you,” I say, and it lingers in the air because I can’t think of anything to say next.
Joy clears her throat. “Was there something I could help you find, Mrs. Walker? It’s just…we’re getting ready to close.” She comes around the side of the counter, linking her arm through Aunt Leona’s. “Let’s go look around.” Then she leads her away, like the gem she is, giving me a chance to collect myself a little.
I reach for a tissue and blot my eyes when Jake speaks.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to catch you off guard.” His voice is quiet, almost remorseful. “I didn’t even know you worked here.”
“No, no, I know you didn’t.” I sniffle, throwing the tissue in the trash.
“Are you still hanging around Miles?” Jake asks, catching me by surprise.
“Um…not really. Why?” I walk behind the counter and busy myself with the dust cloth again.
“I’m just wondering… He doesn’t have the greatest reputation.” Jake shrugs. “I’d hate to see you get hurt.”
Before I can respond, Joy and Aunt Leona return to the register with two battery-powered smoke alarms. “I can ring you up right here, Mrs. Walker,” Joy says cheerfully, walking behind the counter.
I step out of her way and my gaze shifts to Jake. So many questions fill my mind.What do you mean his reputation isn’t great? What do you mean I’ll get hurt? Why do you care? Why do I care?
