Page 80 of Chasing Stars
I frown, then a light bulb goes off. “I know! I’ll make her a playlist.”
Nate lets out a puff of air. “Bro. That’s not exactly what I meant. Go get some rest, will you? Come back tomorrow.”
I catch my reflection in the dark computer screen that I haven’t bothered to turn on. “Fine. You’re right.” I push in my chair and put my jacket back on. “Let’s go, Pete.”
Before heading home,I stop by Sunset Blooms. I used to pop in here every Friday to surprise Erin with wildflowers. It got to the point where my bouquet was ready before I even called. Not because I wanted to bring her flowers all the time, but because I was trying to make her stay. Even before she said it, I think she had one foot out the door. I would have tried anything to make her happy. Flowers didn’t work for Erin, but maybe they will for Jenna.
I park and check my reflection in the rearview mirror before I go in. I run my fingers through the mop on my head and slap my cheeks to wake up. Then I jog inside. Tina, the owner, is about ten years older than me, and she’s a genius with flowers. I could call her with any budget and she’d put together a beautiful arrangement.
“Miles!” Tina greets me with a broad smile that quickly falls when she sees my face. She recovers quickly though. “I haven’t seen you in a while. What brings you in?”
I sigh, defeated. “I need a bouquet that saysI’m a giant asshole and I’m so incredibly sorry.Can you make me something?”
Tina grimaces. “Yikes. What did you do?” She starts puttering around at the various flowers in buckets and tubes behind her, gathering the prettiest ones.
“It’s a long story,” I mutter, feeling embarrassed, even though I don’t need to be.
Tina turns back to me and her expression is reassuring. “Well, whatever it is. I’m sure you’ll make it right, Miles.”
“Thanks, Tina.” I pull out my wallet and lean on the counter. “Do you have a card I can write in?”
41
JENNA
Monday comes quickly, and I wake feeling resigned to what I always knew—Miles and I were temporary, it’s over now. I’m okay alone; in fact, I am used to it. I will be okay.But even as I tell myself this, a heaviness settles in my chest. I am a stupid girl for letting myself be hopeful. I thought perhaps Miles might be my person, but I cannot believe how wrong I was.
I never could trust my instincts. Growing up, I often perceived things that weren’t really there. In high school, I thought for sure my boyfriend was cheating on me with my best friend. I kept hinting around at my suspicions, but all I did was make them both mad at me. When the relationship ended, they actually did start dating, and I was left with no one. My instincts were wrong then, and they’re wrong about Miles, too.
I trudge down the hallway to the bathroom and turn on the shower. While I wait for it to heat, I scroll back through his apologetic text messages. I want so badly to hear him out, but he betrayed me in a way I never expected. I can’t help but wonder if there’s a reason things worked out this way. Maybe I’m not meant for Miles and instead, I’m meant to stand onmy own two feet. All I really know is the only person I can truly rely on is myself. I let myself fall for Miles and in turn, I became dependent on him. And where did that leave me? Heartbroken. It’s time I get serious about what I am doing with my life—without thinking about Miles. I don’t dare listen to the voicemails he left though; if I hear his voice, I’ll cave.
“No,” I say to my reflection. “This is how it has to be.”
After my shower, I find Aunt Leona sipping her coffee on the couch and watchingGood Morning America. She smiles and gestures to the TV. A very attractive actor about my age, whose name is escaping me, is being interviewed.
“Isn’t he handsome?” Aunt Leona murmurs, nodding toward the screen.
I force a smile before walking over to the coffee pot. “He is,” I agree.
I fix my coffee and join her on the sofa, putting my mug on the end table and tucking my feet under me.
“So, how did you sleep?” Aunt Leona asks. “I hope you’re finding everything you need.”
I nod, sipping my coffee. It tastes burnt. “I am, thank you.”
“Are you okay, though? You’ve been awfully quiet.” Aunt Leona’s brow softens and she scoots closer to me.
“I’m a little sad,” I admit with a helpless shrug. “I thought Miles was different.”
Aunt Leona purses her lips. “Maybe he is. Did you give him a chance to explain?”
I shift uncomfortably. “Sort of. I heard enough to know he kept the secret from me for weeks.” I exhale. “I just can’t believe he kept it from me. And it’s mydad. I lost my dad and Miles lived andthenkept it from me. I just don’t know how to move past that.”
Aunt Leona purses her lips thoughtfully. “I understand. But, did you ever stop to think that maybe he wasn’t keeping it fromyou? That he knows how delicate you are and he was trying to figure out how to tell you?” She doesn’t wait for me to argue, instead she gets up and walks back into the kitchen, patting my shoulder as she passes. You have to do what’s right for you.” She peeks around the corner. “You can stay here as long as you like.”
“Thank you.” I slurp another sip of burnt coffee. “I’m going to get the rest of my things from the house today, I think.”
Aunt Leona comes out of the kitchen and hands me a plate with a warm blueberry muffin, a melting slab of butter sandwiched in the middle. “That sounds like a good idea,”
