Page 41 of Chasing Stars
“Jenna, I’m not going to last.” I let out a breath. I cover my eyes with my palm. “Oh my God. I’ve wanted this for too long.” I groan when she envelopes the head with the back of her throat, stroking harder. She cups my balls, and I think that will be my undoing—until she pulls back and moves down to take each one into her mouth, pumping my dick and bringing me to the brink of euphoria.
Jenna makes me feel as if I have lost all control. Ordinarily in bed, I take charge, I take the lead. I don’t let myself come too fast. All of that is out the window. I am completely enthralled with this beautiful woman, on the edge of a cliff about to willingly dive off. “Jenna. I’m close,” I warn, wanting to give her the chance to pull away.
“Good,” she murmurs, but she doesn’t stop, and that realization intensifies the buildup. Then it’s happening and I’m flying, ecstasy ripping through me as my hot liquid fills her mouth—probably more than she bargained for. It’s a cosmictranscendence, and I can’t believe I waited this long to get this close to Jenna. I close my eyes, riding the wave, and to Jenna’s credit, she doesn’t move her mouth away, taking all of me. I have stars in my eyes as I open them and gaze at her. She wipes her mouth with my T-shirt, then she grins at me and melts into the crook of my arm.
“You’re amazing,” I murmur into her hair, kissing the top of her head.
“You are,” she breathes. And we stay like that for a long time.
21
JENNA
Pulling myself away from Miles is hard. The feelings I have for him have been building, and today was the culmination of every emotional moment we’ve shared since the day we met. Miles is, by far, the most attentive lover I have ever had. He made me feel beautiful, safe, and most importantly, seen, all while ensuring the greatest orgasm of my life. I wish I could stay in bed with him from this day forward. The moment we got dressed, I started having anxiety about leaving him. I suspect Miles feels the same way as he drives me back to my car.
We cleaned ourselves up, and then Miles ordered us a pizza. While we waited, I gave Pete the attention he was craving, which gave me a moment to be away from Miles to collect myself a little bit. The separation anxiety I already feel is alarming me. I need to figure out where my head and my heart are, and if they’re on the same page. Now that we’ve been intimate, I worry he’ll lose interest in me.
That’s not just me being insecure. He told me a week ago that he was worried about that very thing—that he doesn’t catchfeelings easily. Well, I’ve caught them. I’m damn near bewitched by Miles and it’s scary as hell.
He pulls into the nearly empty parking lot at the brewery and parks next to my car. We sit there for a moment, turning toward each other. I fiddle with the water bottle sitting in the center cup holder. Miles puts his hand on top of mine and intertwines our fingers. I lift my gaze to him, and his lips twitch.
“Have I told you that you’re amazing?” he asks me.
My heart flutters. “I believe you have.” I bite back a satisfied smile. “Have I told you thatyou’reamazing? And that tongue? Oh my.” I laugh.
Miles’s expression turns serious; he pulls my hand to his mouth and kisses my knuckles. His brows turn together in an agonized expression. “I don’t want you to go,” he rasps.
I swallow and close my eyes, resting my head on the seat. “I don’t want to go either,” I utter softly, without opening them. “But you said yourself,slow.”
Miles groans. “I know, but I want to sleep next to you,” he whines, and I almost give in. I’d like to wake up in his condo on the beach again, his legs wrapped around mine, his breath in the crook of my neck. Then we would have coffee on his balcony and look out at the waves.
“It’s hard to say good night,” I admit, brushing a lock of wavy hair off his forehead. “But this time it’s definitelynotgoodbye,” I promise, offering a reassuring smile.
“It better not be.” Miles smirks. Then quieter and more serious,“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to say goodbye to you.”
I sigh, fighting to control my swirling emotions. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Miles,” I whisper.
When he doesn’t immediately respond, I take it as my cue to go. I collect my things and reach for the door. “I’ll call you tomorrow,” Miles murmurs.
“Okay.” I shoot him a smile. “Don’t go cold on me now,” I say it like a joke, but there’s a part of me that’s terrified I’m going to walk away from Cape May with nothing but memories and a newly broken heart. Miles may be saying all the right things now, but what if he wakes up regretful tomorrow?
“I won’t,” he says, his voice husky. “I promise.”
“Good.” This time my smile is easier. “Thanks for the clothes.” I push open the door.
“Thanks for the orgasm.” Miles grins, his eyes scrunching at the corners.
I bark out a laugh. “Back at ya.” I slam the door shut and climb into my cold car. The loneliness hits instantly.
When it becomes apparent that Miles won’t pull out of the lot until I do, I shift the car into reverse and head toward my cold, empty house. Today started out perfect, then it got a little scary, and then it was amazing. So why do I feel so empty now?
I get home and take a scorching hot shower that leaves my skin pink. When I get out, I almost put on clean pajamas—then think better of it and reach for Miles’s T-shirt instead. If I can’t sleep next to him, at least I can fall asleep smelling like him. I climb into bed and fall into a fitful sleep, full of dreams of Miles and a life in Cape May that feels so close but so far away.
I havenothing to wake up for Monday morning, so I sleep in. The mid-morning sun wakes me, shining through the blinds that I forgot to close. I groan and roll over to check my phone on the nightstand. It’s nearly ten in the morning. There are several texts from Miles. My heart races as I tap into the text.
Miles:
Can I see you for lunch?
