Page 22 of Chasing Stars
Jenna lets out a soft, nervous laugh then catches her bottom lip. “Really?”
My cheeks heat and I know I’m blushing. “Okay, well, notallI’ve thought about,” I mumble, raking my hands through my hair. “But…yeah.”
“I’ve thought about it too,” She admits, biting the corner of her lower lip. I feel myself harden at her words.
Somethingishappening between us.My mind races. If I kiss her right now, I’ll do nothing else but carry her to bed. It will take the utmost self-control to stop myself from ripping off that towel and doing unspeakable things to her. I groan.
“What’s wrong?” Jenna asks, pulling back. “I know you feel something between us too…or I wouldn’t have waited here like this.”So she admits it.
“Oh, I feel it,” I reassure her. “It’s just, normally, I’m impulsive with these things, and…I want to be careful with you.”
“Why?” Jenna asks, her voice low. She takes another step closer. She reaches her left hand up and drapes it around my neck, running her fingers through the hair there. “I won’t break.”
I sigh begrudgingly. “I know you won’t break. But I am having so much fun with you… I want to do things differently.” I lean my forehead into hers, and my dick moves, letting me know he thinks I should go for it.
“Miles,” Jenna breathes, pressing her nose into mine.
“Jenna. I can’t. Not yet anyway. I need to be sure,” I rasp, internally berating myself.Since when are you the good guy?
“Um…okay.” Jenna’s voice breaks slightly. She takes a step back, biting her lip and looking away.
“It’s not that I’m not into you. Believe me, I amsointo you.” A war of emotions rages inside me, but I take a step back too. “Your mother’s account means so much to my dad. I… I don’t want to do anything to mess that up.”
Jenna bats angrily at her eye and it tugs at something deep inside of me. If I make this girl cry, I’ll hate myself. I want to be close to her, but I don’t trust myself not to screw it up. I reach for Jenna’s hand, and she takes a step towards me, but she doesn’t say anything. She’s so vulnerable standing here in this towel. I need to make this better for her. I hold open my arms and surprisingly enough, she walks into them.
I wrap her in a tight hug. “Our tacos are getting cold,” I whisper into her hair.
Jenna nods and backs away, catching her towel right before it falls. She bites back a smile, but her pink cheeks tell me she’s embarrassed. “Yeah.” She lets out a defeated sigh. “Okay. I’ll get dressed.”
I step back and smile wistfully at her, allowing myself one last lustful look at her in a towel. “I’ll see you out there.”
11
JENNA
“Oh, you stupid, stupid girl,” I mutter under my breath after Miles leaves me in the bathroom. “What were you thinking? Of course he’s not interested. He’s just beingnice.” I stare at myself in the mirror. My cheeks are flushed, and my eyes are glassy with unshed tears.
“I willnotcry over this.”
I don’t really know what I was thinking. Maybe that it’s been a long time since I’ve felt a warm body on mine. When I was taking care of my mom, I didn’tfeellonely. I was too busy. But now that she’s gone, the silence is deafening.
Miles has softened that for me. There’s something between us—I swear there is. But maybe this wasn’t the best way to put myself out there.
Truthfully, I only hoped he’d catch a glimpse of me. I didn’t mean to completely throw myself at him. And yet here I am, standing alone in the bathroom, mortified.
Guys have rejected me before. It doesn’t happen often—I rarely put myself out there—but it’s happened. The last time a guy rejected me, it was a new colleague at work, only he wasn’t a newbie like me, he was a real designer. He took a liking tome, brought me under his wing. I misread the situation and let’s just say, I will not be making the first move on a colleague again anytime soon. Nope.
But Miles was definitely giving me thefuck meeyes when he saw me in that towel. I know I didn’t imagine that. He’s been so kind to me this whole time.Maybe he’s confused about what he wants—or maybe I once again misread a man’s intentions.
“Ugh!” I groan at my reflection and I’m immediately embarrassed that Miles might’ve heard it.
What a shit show this has turned out to be.
I am not stupid. I am not desperate. I’m just…lonely.
Sometimes lonely people do reckless things. I don’t have anyone left in this world who loves me exactly as I am. That’s a tough pill to swallow. I never thought I’d be thirty-five and completely alone. But here I am.
I’ve done a great job distancing myself from people. Not on purpose—but Mom came first. I couldn’t take care of her, take her to doctor’s appointments, make sure she took her meds, look after myself,andnurture relationships with others. So I didn’t and now, I’m all alone.
