Page 20 of Chasing Stars
Miles is an excellent teacher. Before we hit the waves, he gives me a land lesson on how to pop up quickly. In the water, he shows me how to paddle out on my stomach, dipping the nose of the board under each wave until we’re past the break. He didn’t bring a board for himself, but he stays next to me the entire time, steering my board to the perfect spot. My lower back tingles each time his fingertips graze it.Focus on the surf, Jenna. Once we make it past the break, I sit up and let out a breath.
“This looks good,” Miles says, turning the board around to face the shoreline.
I suck in another shaky breath, and Miles lowers his lean body under the water. It’s only now that we’re alone, with nonoise except for a stray seagull, the waves crashing, and the thumping of my heart, that I take the time to appreciate Miles in his snug-fitting wet suit. His body is lean and muscular. His skin still has that end-of-summer glow, likely from spending so much time at the beach. Like a true thalassophile, Miles immediately dove under a wave as he ran into the water and now his wet hair curls at the nape of his neck. Water clings to his long eyelashes. He licks his lips as if he likes the taste of saltwater.God, he is gorgeous,and at the same time, his love for the sea reminds me so much of my dad that my chest aches.
The thing about surfing is once you are out past the break, you can sit on the board for as long as you like. You can float peacefully out here, watching the waves crash against the shore. I have the urge to ask Miles if we can sit for a while. That sounds better than riding a wave in and falling on my face, but I don’t say that. Miles shivers, and because I’m a recovering people pleaser, I feel guilty that he’s cold.
“It’s chillier than I thought when the sun goes behind the clouds.” He ducks his head under the water again.
“Uh-huh.” I shudder when he reappears. “I thought it was just my nerves.”
Miles cracks a smile and puts his hand on the rocking board to steady it. “Listen, a longboard is the best thing you can learn on. Lots of room for you to find your balance. And I’ll be right here next to you the whole time, okay?”
I nod but don’t say anything.
“These are tiny waves. You should be able to get up. Here’s what we’re going to do.” He glances behind him at the building swell, causing my board to bob up and down. “You’re going to lie on your stomach and paddle as hard as you can to reach the tip of the wave, then you’re going to push yourself up as quickly as possible and try to stand. Got it?” He raises his eyebrows.
“I think so,” I breathe, moving to lie on my stomach.
“Attagirl.” He pushes the board as I begin to paddle, and it happens before I have a chance to think about it. The wave catches my board and carries me in. “Pop up, now!” I hear Miles shout.
I push up as forcefully as I can but I only make it to my knees, not a full stand. Nevertheless, the board carries me all the way to shore, and it is more fun than I’ve had in a long time. I don’t realize it until Miles surfaces next to me, but I’m laughing.
“That was pretty good!” he says, patting my shoulder. “I bodysurfed right next to you.”
“You did?” I ask, my eyes wide.
“I told you I would be with you the whole time.” In a move that both startles and arouses me, he brushes a droplet of saltwater from my lash line. I lean into his hand and close my eyes at his touch. Miles coughs, a stark reminder of where I am, who I’m with, and just how easy it would be to fall into this. “Want to try again?”
It takesme two more tries before I can stand, but we finish out the lesson with a good run. I make it all the way up, only falling when I reach the place where the water is too shallow. Miles is laughing as he runs up to me.
“That was incredible!” Miles hugs me, lifting my feet off the ground. He puts me down just as quickly, his hands falling away like he realized he was holding me too long. His smile is still wide but there is something flickering behind it—maybe he is worrying he crossed a line. “I’ve never seen someone get it in three runs. You’re a natural.” He pushes a damp chunk of trauma bangs out of my eyes, then takes the board from me and walks toward the beach.
I can’t imagine what I look like right now, but strangely enough, I don’t care. My heart is racing, but I’m not sure if it’s because Iactuallysurfed or because of Miles. “That was exhilarating,” I breathe, plopping down on the sand next to him. The October sun is sinking lower, and the sky is turning gold.
Miles sits down next to me, handing me a towel. He glances sideways at me, resting his arms on his knees and letting his legs fall open. I’m distracted by him, and I can’t look anywhere else. “I’ve been surfing since I was a kid.” He turns back to the water. “I have probably done it three hundred and sixty days a year for twenty years. I’ve had a few scary moments out there. But I always go back.”
“Why do you think that is?” I ask. “I can’t think ofanythingI’ve loved that much for that long.” The words taste bitter, and I let out a quiet laugh to soften them.
Miles doesn’t seem to notice. He shrugs and turns back to me. “I think I’m always chasing that rush of adrenaline. But…I also feel at home out there. I can’t explain it. My favorite thing to do is paddle out right when the sun starts to go down. I float on my board, watching the first stars appear and just…exist. I like knowing there’s this vast, incredible universe out there and I get to be a part of it, but it’ssomuch bigger than I am. When I’m ready, I ride the wave in, and it’s like I’m chasing the stars above me. I can’t really explain it well…” He pauses. “It’s the closest I’ll ever get to religion.”
“Wow,” There are no other words right now. I tilt my head back, watching the first stars appear in the clear autumn sky. “It is really beautiful out here. And so peaceful.”
“It is,” Miles agrees. “But now I’m freezing.” He stands and reaches for my hand.
I giggle, my teeth chattering as a shiver escapes. “Me too. And I’m going to be sore tomorrow. I used more muscles today than I have…well, maybe ever.”
Miles gathers our things, then drapes a large beach towel around my shoulders. “How about I drop you at my place to shower and I go pick us up some dinner?”
“I can’t argue with that.” I meet his gaze, and his lips twitch.I could get used to this.
10
MILES
The heat is blasting on us as I pull into my spot at the condo complex and put the car in park, but Jenna is still shivering. “Do you like tacos?” I ask, hoping she’ll say yes.
“I love them.” She grins. “Is that what you want to eat?”
