Page 78 of The Space Between
In the morning, I wake up alone.
But this time… there’s a note on the pillow.
Don’t go far today.
—Gruene
And just like that, the ache in my chest shifts.
It’s still tender. I’m still trembling at the fear of all that’s left unsaid.
But I don’t feel hollow…
I’m full ofhope.
I don’t call him.I don’t go to see him at the shop. But I don’t go far, either.
I stay close to the river, not because he told me to, but because his note wasn’t a demand. It was a request.
I spend the day walking the gravel trails that snake behind the cabins, letting sweat roll down my back and silence fill the space he left behind. I make it halfway to the park before I realize I haven’t even tied one of my shoes. I only notice it when I trip over the lace.
I don’t want distractions. I wantstillness.I want the ache to settle somewhere I can find it again. Because the moment I let go of that pain, that fear of giving in again and possibly losing it, I’m scared it’ll be too much and he’ll leave… for real.
The sun is startingto head back down to the horizon when I sit on the porch and write a letter I never plan to send.
Dear Tyler,
I left and I hope it eats you alive.
I hope every hour that passes without control makes you squirm.
I hope the silence tastes like blood in your mouth.
I hope you look in every mirror and see the bruises you put on me staring back at you.
But more than anything, I hope you know that someone else touched me without breaking me.
That someone else saw the pieces you tried to grind to dust and worshiped them anyway.
He doesn’t treat me like a possession to do with what he chooses.
He doesn’t hit me and hurt me and humiliate me and call it love.
He doesn’t ask me to be less.
He hasn’t asked me for anything… except to stay.
And maybe I will.
Because he ASKED and he didn’t demand. Because he’s giving me a choice.
—Blakelyn
I slipthe letter in the drawer next to my bed.
I just fold it. I don’t seal it. But it’s enough just to write it.
To look at the words on the paper in my handwriting and feel the power come back into my bones.
