Page 37 of Twisted Secrets
“Fourteen months.” She rolled her eyes. “I don’t know why they do that month thing up to eighteen months. Sometimes I think it’s just to confuse people. So, yeah, she’s a little over a year old.”
Just a baby, really. He tried to picture what a fourteen-month-old looked like and came up blank. The last kid he’d spent any time around was Keira, and he was only seven at the time. None of his siblings had started their own families yet, and the end result was that Cillian didn’t know a damn thing aboutkids. “That’s great.”
Olivia laughed. “Your eyes just glazed over. It’s okay. I love my baby girl, and I could talk about her for hours, but I won’t force you to sit through that.”
He might be out of his element with the topic of children, but he liked how she lit up. “No, it’s okay.”
“That’s sweet.” She turned her smile on the waitress who walked up with their food. Once she was gone, Olivia snagged a fry. “I wasn’t sure I wanted kids back in the day.”
“Why not?” He took a bite of his lobster roll.
“With my history, family comes with more complications than benefits. I didn’t like the idea of bringing a kid into that world. Plus, I was kind of the family outcast in a lot of ways, so adding to the list of things about me that they found wanting didn’t seem like a good idea.” She picked up her roll and took a bite. Watching the bliss spread over her face slammed him right back into that alley whenhewas the cause of it.
He shifted, trying to get his physical reaction under control. The whole point of tonight—in addition to getting to know Olivia better—was to prove to her that he wasn’t just after a piece of ass. Dragging her to the bathroom to finish what they started the other night in the alley wasn’t going to get that point across. He cleared his throat.Keep her talking. The reaction will pass…hopefully.“So what changed?”
“Hmmm?” She managed to drag her eyes open. “God, you weren’t kidding about this being the best lobster roll place in town, were you? This is downright orgasmic.” She shook herself. “Sorry, I’m getting distracted.”
“I’m not complaining.” He liked this softer side of her. It had started when she talked about her daughter, but it was even more pronounced now. Thewoman had more spikes than a porcupine, but once he got past those, she was…Hell, he didn’t even know.
But he wanted more.
She shot him a look. “To answer your question, it wasn’t exactly planned. I picked a guy…You know what? Never mind. You don’t want to hear this.”
It struck him that the goon he’d run into in that alley might be the father of Olivia’s kid. Cillian wasn’t sure why that bugged him more than the thought of the blond bruiser being an ex, but it did. He wanted to go back and punch the guy a few times for good measure. He took a drink of his water. “Do you still see him?”
“If I did, I’d be an asshole for sitting across this table from you, wouldn’t I?” She shook her head. “No, he and I were over about halfway through my pregnancy, but we officially went our separate ways right around the time Hadley was born. We wanted different things.”
What different things?And what the fuck kind of man left a woman who’d just had his child—especially a woman like Olivia? Cillian could barely wrap his mind around it.What would she look like pregnant withmychild?
Damn it, that was out of line. He searched for something appropriate to say that wouldn’t come across like he was a caveman pounding his chest before he dragged her back to his place by her hair. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m not.” She took another bite, her entire face relaxing as she chewed and swallowed. “He’s not a great guy, but I got my daughter as a result. I know that sounds cliché—”
“It sounds like you love your daughter. That’s nothing to apologize for.” He tried to stop talking, but his mouth got away from him. “What you have with her is uncomplicated and that makes it even more special.You didn’t have her for political reasons.” Not like his parents had. They loved their children, though it hadn’t been the warmest household growing up, but it was impossible to forget that a good portion of the reason they’d had so many kids was because they were actively building a dynasty. They might never be the old money that held power in Boston officially, but if Seamus O’Malley had his way, his descendants would be running a decent chunk of the criminal enterprises until the end of time.
Uncharitable? Probably. But that didn’t make it a lie.
Her dark eyes were sympathetic. “Sounds like a cold reason to make that decision.”
“I think there was more to it, but it was definitely something my parents considered. I mean, fuck, there are seven of us.” He caught himself. “Were. There were seven of us.” A year later and he was still stumbling over that fact. There would come a day when he wouldn’t. He already mourned it.
“I didn’t mean to bring up a painful subject.”
“Life is full of painful subjects.” He tried to make his voice light, but didn’t quite pull it off.
Olivia saw. She’d have to be blind not to, but she did him the favor of changing the subject and not prodding deeper. “Do you want kids of your own?”
Did he? He took his time eating another bite before he answered. “I don’t know. I guess I’ve never really thought about it. Up until a year ago, I was all about living life to the fullest and not slowing down for anyone, so kids weren’t even on my radar.”
“And now?”
Painfully aware that he was talking to a woman with a kid, he picked his words with care. Buthe couldn’t lie to her. “I still don’t know. I like the idea of eventually settling down and starting a family at some point in the future.”
“You mean you aren’t going to follow in your father’s footsteps and try to repopulate Boston with more O’Malleys?”
He chuckled. “I think two or three would be much more manageable.”
“And you don’t have some sort of arranged marriage waiting in the wings?” She took a drink and held up her hand. “Sorry, that’s not really my business.”
