Page 20 of Twisted Secrets
She should object, move away, do something other than rest her hands on the top of his thighs and tilt her head up.Stupid, stupid, stupid. Didn’t the last few years teach you anything?Apparently not, because she wanted Cillian to kiss her again, and she wanted him to kiss hernow.
Truth be told, she wanted him to do a whole lot more than that.
Olivia licked her lips. “Okay.”
His lips quirked up at the edges. “I can see I’m blowing your socks off. Let’s see if I can do better.” He cupped her face with one hand and then his mouth was on hers, soft and teasing, testing—nothing like the forceful kiss that started everything last night. She opened for him immediately, driven by the lightning dancing just beneath her skin. She wished she could blame it on being skin-starved, but the truth was that this man was doing more with a near-innocent kiss than Sergei had ever done with his entire body and hours at his disposal.I am in so much trouble.
Then Cillian’s tongue stroked hers and she was lost. She gripped his thighs as he explored her mouth, giving herself permission to do some exploring of her own. He was all lean muscle, as if he’d been melted down and stuck in a forge, only to come out new. She ran her hands up his legs, stopping just short of his hips.
He took it from there. He ran his fingers through her hair and down her back, inching her closer until there was nothing more than a breath of distance between them. It would have been so damn easy to lean forwardand touch him, pressing her body against his, but the separation was almost unbearably erotic. She shivered again, tilting her head back to give him better access.
She’d never been kissed like this, like she was something to be savored…valued. Like he had all the time in the world and he’d still never get enough.
Common sense tried to rear up and remind her that it was a goddamn kiss, not a lifetime commitment, but then his thumb feathered across the underside of her breast, and all rational reasoning flew right out the window.
He rested his forehead against hers, and groaned. “You’re making it hard to be good, sweetheart.”
So don’t be good. She gritted her teeth to keep the words inside. If she started pressing now, it was a slippery slope to begging, and Olivia did not beg. So she closed her eyes and just took a second to enjoy the feeling of being wrapped up in him while maintaining some distance. Last night she’d pushed until she’d gotten her way. She could push tonight and he’d give in. She knew that in her bones.
But he was hurting, and going there with her might injure him further. She took a shuddering breath. “I understand.”
“No, I don’t think you do.” He ran his hand down her side, slipping it beneath her shirt to rest on her hip. “I want you so bad it’s killing me. But I’m not in a position to be able to take care of you how you deserve right now, with my head wound fucking me up.” His thumbs traced circles on her skin. “And even if it wasn’t…A few hours ago you were telling me that this wasn’t what you want. When you change your mind for good—and you will—I want you to know you’re not just coming down from an adrenaline high. You want me as much as I want you. It’s not circumstantial.”
Oh. That was the last thing she’d expected. She opened her eyes as he sat back. “It was just a quick fuck in an alley.” Areallyoutstanding fuck. Even if she’d been able to pretend last night was a freak thing…She couldn’t do that now. Not when the chemistry was still sparking between them so hot, it was a wonder she didn’t burn up with it.
“Sure it was.” His low chuckle, so similar to the one he made last night before he was inside her, had her squirming.
It would have taken only the tiniest of pushes to take that kiss into the bed and lose themselves in each other. She was already poised on the brink and he’d barely done anything. Even now, it was a struggle to take her hands off his thighs and move away. She concentrated on stopping touching him. “Exactly. Nothing to write home to Mom about.”
“Olivia.”
She stopped backing away, her heartbeat picking up. “Yeah?”
“Let me take you out on a real date. It’s obvious there’s something between us. I don’t know about you, but I sure as hell don’t want to let it pass without exploring it.”
Longing like nothing she’d ever known rose up inside her.A real date.She wanted to say yes, to put on a pretty dress and doll herself up and let Cillian take her somewhere nice. They’d spend the meal flirting and talking and then afterward, he’d kiss her again and, this time, there would be nothing standing in the way of taking things further.
Nothing except her past and his family.
It’s too big a risk, no matter how he makes you feel. Hell, the way he makes you feel onlyaddsto the risk. This isn’t some casual dicking around—this could be ruinous.
“I can’t.” She stood. “I’m sorry.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
Both. She walked to the nightstand where he’d tossed the washcloth, and picked it up, desperate for anything to distract her from the half-naked man watching her far too closely. “I have a whole lot of shit in my past that’s just waiting to rise up and kick me in the face again, and you have…” She motioned in his direction. “Your life. Your family. Whatever you’re running from. It would never work.”
“I’m asking for a date, sweetheart—not a lifetime commitment.”
Maybe, but there was nothing simple about her life right now, and she had a feeling he didn’t know the meaning of the word, either.I could lose myself in a man like this. Thatwas reason enough without everything else to stay the hell away from him. “It’s not a good idea.” No matter how much she suddenly wanted to say yes.
He gave her a long look. “Or maybe it’s the best damn idea either of us has had. Life is too short, Olivia. Why not take your happiness where you can find it, even if it’s not forever?”
She froze. When he put it like that…She’d been so busy running and trying to just survive that she hadn’t taken a single thing for herself in longer than she could remember. Not until last night. What was one more night in the grand scheme of things? Even if it went well, he was right—it was one date. It wasn’t like he was asking her to marry him.
You’re just looking for any excuse to say yes.She unfolded and refolded the wet washcloth. “I don’t know.”
He didn’t say anything else, just watched her with that heated look that made her want to cross over to him and crawl into his lap. She turned away, but it didn’t help. She couldfeelhim watching her, which madeher think of that kiss…which led right back into imagining another kiss. More than a kiss.
