Page 88 of Beautifully Damned
“Yes, and no fever,” I say, tightening the towel around me when it threatens to slip again, avoiding Roman’s gaze.
“Okay, perfect. Listen, Ayla,” she hurries on.
“I’m listening,” I say through a yawn.
“Pakhan not respond calls. Viktor—he call nonstop for deal approval. Mikhail, he try, but no one, no one like Pakhan. Lola—she take more work. Bad,da? She maybe pregnant.”
Pregnant. The word hits me like ice. Lola and Mikhail’s child would be beautiful… and chaotic. My hands instinctively go to my stomach. I’ve had unprotected sex two times. Could I…? My breakfast feels heavy, suddenly cloying.
“Okay, Elena. I will tell Roman to get back to him,” I say, voice tight.
“Yes, please, you do,” she urges, the metallic clang of dishes and the rush of water coming faintly from her background. “Pakhan never neglect Bratva. He live, breathe, eat Bratva. You bring him back. People smell opportunity… take advantage.”
She’s right. Roman has been here, in my world, turning his life over to me. Cooking, cleaning, worshipping, waiting. I have pulled him away from his responsibilities.
I swallow, feeling the gravity of the decision I’m about to make settle. I will leave vet school if I have to. I will step back into his world, into the chaos he rules, into the hard lines of his life that I have no right to soften, but somehow, I am meant to.
Because I belong with him. To him. To his world. To be the soft to his hard. The quiet to his storm. To love while he destroys, to care while he builds, and to take my place beside him, fully, entirely. I am meant to rule beside him, to soften the beast that he is. And rule beside him I will.
Elena has closed the line, and I put my phone down.
“Roman,” I start, “we should really go back to the Bratva.”
He frowns, brows pulling together. “Ayla… what about your school?”
“I’ve been trying to chase my dream, but… ruling beside you, helping you, protecting the Bratva… it’s become my dream too. I can’t ignore it anymore. Besides, I joined vet school late, I’m behind in my courses. And I miss the Bratva.”
“You don’t have to give it up. I can step back. I can leave everything to Viktor. My title, my control… I know Mikhailwould never want it. You focus on your dream, and I’ll stay here, with you. I’ll carry everything else.”
My chest tightens at just how much he’s willing to give up for me. “You don’t have to. Maybe we can find a closer campus? But not now. Now all I want is to focus on the Bratva. I… I hate how much I’ve grown to care about it. All my life, all I wanted was to leave the underground. And now I’m struggling to even think about walking away.”
“Ayla… this house is in your name. If things get too much, if the Bratva overwhelms you… this is your line of safety. You can breathe here, and I’ll stay. I’ll wait, I’ll guard, and I’ll fight. Whatever you need.”
He bought the house for me? Put it in my name? It’s a twisted kind of sweet, how he wants to ensure I have a warm refuge when the blood becomes too much. I’ve spent so long hating this world, hating the underground, wanting out. And now, I realize I’ve already gone too far to leave. I’ve come to care, to love it, to love him—and I can’t imagine life without both.
“Viktor’s been trying to reach you,” I say slowly. “He’s been calling nonstop about a deal. Mikhail is holding things together, but you’re the only one they trust fully. You’ve been… distracted.”
“I know. I’ve been distracted,” he admits. “For you. Everything else… it can wait. I can give Viktor the authority to handle it. I can step away from the Bratva until you finish school, if that’s what you want.” He offers again.
I shake my head. “No. You’re not stepping away. And I don’t want to finish without you. I want to pause school for now. Later, we will figure out how to do both.”
“Then we pause. Whatever choice you make, Ayla. I’m always with you.”
I exhale, relief and surrender washing through me. The underground, the danger, the weight of the Bratva—it doesn’tscare me as much when he’s here. When I realize that I’ve already chosen this life, this man, this chaos as mine.
?Chapter LVII?
AYLA
The second my foot crosses Roman’s threshold, the house exhales around me. Warmth, smells, movement—life that isn’t mine alone. Elena bursts forward, arms wrapping me in a hug that tightens until my chest aches. “Welcome back, Ayla,” she murmurs, voice pressed against my hair. I hold her longer than necessary.
Matvey lingers behind her before giving Roman a one-armed hug. Roman stiffens immediately, jaw tight, fingers tapping his thigh. He isn’t built for this. I bite back a laugh at the way he awkwardly pats Matvey’s back.
Elena turns to him, wrapping him in her small frame. She scolds him softly in Russian, and he only stands straighter, barely moving. I know that before me, no one would have dared stand near him without fear. But I’ve softened him for them, made him human. Made him reachable. And for that, I am grateful.
Roman isn’t a monster. He carries darkness, trauma, scars from everything he’s endured, but he has a heart. He shields it, keeps it locked, claims no one else can enter—but I see him.
Matvey mutters under his breath, “Welcome back, Mrs. Volkov.”
