Page 93 of What If I Hate You
Ella
Wait what sheets situation? Did y’all break the bed? Stain it? Set it on fire???
Me
Ugh. Mar, I hate all of you.
Marlee
No, you don’t. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. It’s bad ass! Tell them.
Scarlett
Tell us WHAT????
Ella
Yeah girl, TELL US before I have to go ask Auggie!
Me
OMG if Barrett tells them I’ll die.
Corrigan
Don’t worry. We’ll bring you back to life. What happened?
Me
Y’all…I don’t know how I did it and I’ve never done it before but…uh…oh God, I’m just going to say it. The other night Bear made me…uh…well, I squirted.
Corrigan
WHAT?? Blakely! MA’AM. THAT IS A TRUE HIGH SCORE. (Also totally natural so pat yourself on the back girlfriend!)
Ella
I KNEW IT! I SAW THE WAY YOU WINCED WHEN YOU SAT DOWN. YOU GOT RAVISHED.
Me
Wrecked is more like it.
Scarlett
Aaaand I’m done working for the day. Tell us everything. Position, timing, did he CELEBRATE IT or panic???
Layken
Yeah. Did Bear freak out and grab a towel or just keep going like a savage?
Me
He literally growled. GROWLED. Like “you’re soaking me” and then just kept going like a man POSSESSED.
Ella
Ladies. She got the Possession Stroke™. She’s a goner. Send tissues and a Pinterest wedding board.
