Page 12 of What If I Hate You
Griffin
OOOOH! BURN! Bro can’t even chase us through a revolving door.
Bodhi
“Not with that lateral movement” I’m scream-laughing. Corrigan is scared for her life.
Me
I hope you all get traded to Ottawa.
Harrison
I’d retire.
Oliver
Sorry man, but you have to admit, she’s got a point. Rivers is savage.
Me
Not savage. Just annoying.
Bodhi
Wait. Are you…SCARED of Blakely Rivers, bruh?
Me
I’ve played through a separated shoulder, a broken ankle, and the flu. I’m not scared of a reporter with too much mascara.
August
You’re deflecting, Bear.
Harrison
Classic goalie move.
Me
I will literally staple your tongues to the locker room door.
Griffin
Want us to come over and spoon you? Or just keep roasting your ass in the group chat?
Me
If you come over, I’ll put you through a window.
Oliver
Classic trauma response.
Bodhi
He does this. Remember last playoffs? Wouldn’t talk to us for a week after the broadcast roasted his “pigeon-toed shuffling”
