Page 84 of Flagrant Foul
He looks at me for a long time, beautiful brown eyes going softer and softer until the sight of him makes my eyes sting.
“No one’s supposed to be perfect, Tee,” he says so quietly it seems as though he’s talking more to himself than to me. “So why the hell are you?”
45
Sev Delorean
Myphonebuzzes,anda now-familiar stab of dread attacks my side, making it hard not to wince.
You okay, bud? You’ve been super quiet lately.
Worried about you.
The blade twists, morphing into an icy blast of bone-deep guilt.
It’s all good. Been busy, lots going on. That’s all.
Nothing’s wrong.
Do you swear?
Dammit. Nate and his overdeveloped capacity to worry about people heloves.
I swear.
Well, I’ll be there next week to check up on you in person.
I swallow hard.
Can’t wait.
It’s been a long week. Dizzyingly perfect in every way. That is, every way except for the fact that it’s Wednesday, and Nate and the LA Edges are going to be in Tampa on Friday for the game.
The reckoning I’ve spent most of my adult life actively trying to avoid is headed straight at me.
I’ve been trying not to let myself think about it too much because overthinking doesn’t change anything and only makes me feel worse.
My overriding emotion when I think of Nate getting here is a deep, heavyno. It’s a hard push. Both hands and my full body weight trying to hold something terrible at bay. That, and lashings of sadness that find me and slice into me during the night.
Teddy’s on edge too. Or at least I think he is. He feels it differently from the way I feel it. He feels it as fear. He’safraid, not of what Nate’s going to say or do, but of how I’ll react when he does. He wants to be certain of me, and he almost is. There are times when I think he might be. Times he looks at me, and I see a steady gaze of blind faith. True belief that I’m the man he thinks I am. The man he wants me to be.
At other times, he wavers. There’s a pale-blue quiver in the eyes I only want to see smiling. A bunching of jaw muscle when he thinks I’m not looking. A soft, urgent whisper when his arms are around my neck and his mouth is close to my ear.
“We’re not doing anything wrong, Sev.” He says it over and over as though doing so will somehow make it true.
“’Course we are,” I reply with a forced smile.
“We aren’t. It’s not like we’re breaking the law. We’re both consenting ad—”
I cut him off, holding on to him tightly and whispering into his hair. “We are, and we both know it.Don’t fuck your bud’s baby brother.” I release my grip on him and tilt his chin up to face me. “It’s right there at the top of the Bro Code. It might not be a law, but it’s a serious infraction, Tee. A red card and an ejection from the game… It’s a foul. A flagrant foul.”
He winces and looks away. “What are we going to do when he gets here?”
“We’renot going to do anything. I’m going to talk to him. I’m going to be honest and see if I can reason with him, and you’re going to stay out of it.” His eyes narrow and there’s a flash of acid I haven’t had aimed at me in weeks. I haven’t missed it, but that doesn’t mean I don’t deserve it.
“Fine.” He huffs. “D’you want to, like, come up with a game plan or whatever?”
“Nah. I want to try not to think about it until I absolutely have to. We have a couple of days before shit gets real, so let’s try to enjoy this while we can. Let’s not think about it. You know what? Let’s go out. Why don’t we go and do something nice? I’ll take you out for a meal. A nice steak, or something like that. What do you think?”
