Page 51 of Viper
I’ve had a lot of time to think about shit, and Randy was right, our problems were fucking pathetic. I allowed my past to cloud me while she allowed her fear of the club to cloud her, though her believing I fucked Cherri was most likely the biggest downfall of us.
Fuck, I went nomad for two months while she was drowning.
“Will it?” I ask, “Everything just seems so fucking stupid now, all the arguments, the insults, the reason why I lost it and now look where we are, because of me and my stupidity…”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Jaylen. Years of being told not to trust Cherri’s daughter were bound to fuck you up a little, especially finding out you fell in love with her,” he mutters.
I shake my head and chuckle a little before admitting, “Even if I had known who she was, I still would have made her mine. I only walked away the day we met because of fear. If she hadn’t come after me, I can guarantee I would have gotten you to find her.”
I look at him, and he grins before I look at the door again.
“I’ve missed her, brother,” I admit, “And not just this past week, I’ve missed her for five months and the reason I was always a dick when we bumped into each other is because I hated how much I missed her. My head wasn’t able to understand she wasn’t after my cut like every brother claimed.”
“It will all be alright,” he replies, and I sigh, dropping my head.
I’ve wasted five months without her.
“Do you still see a future with her, brother?” he asks, and I swallow hard as I look at the door, his question echoing.
Do I still see a future with her, after everything?
I hurt her a lot, and she hurt me, but can we overcome that, be together again, raise our daughter as a family?
I guess the bigger question is, can I see her moving on with someone else, having his ring on her finger with a half-sibling on its way for our daughter?
Can I watch the woman I fell madly and deeply in love with, the woman who consumes my heart, body, and soul, fall in love with someone else?
I know I’ll never find anyone else, I know no woman will ever take Lake’s place in my heart, and yeah, fuck it, I know I can’t watch her with someone else, my whole fucking body tenses at the thought, and pure anger fills me.
She’s mine.
“I never saw a future without her, brother,” I finally admit out loud for the first time in months.
“Even though she slept with someone else?” he asks, and I growl, making him chuckle, “I’m just saying, can you get past that?”
I sigh, “Yeah, I can. I ate Kitty out, something I completely regret, and vomited afterwards, and I wasn’t even drunk like she was. So yeah, I can get over it. I love her so fucking much, I was just angry that she never told me about her connection to the club. Then, I was even more angry because I knew I blew it way out of proportion that day in the diner, especially when I knew she had no idea I was club and well, things just escalated too far.”
I swallow hard and I admit, “I allowed my anger to take hold and I took it out on her instead of having a rational conversation,and now, I need to try and convince her that things will be different, that she can be a mama.”
“You will, brother, she loves you, and hopefully being here, that will make her realize it,” he replies before the door opens, and I quickly stand, making him chuckle.
Lake slowly walks in, her eyes going to Venom first, and they widen a little before she rolls them, making me grin.
He’s here because of Raya and also to ensure she’s good, and she knows it.
I tilt my head as she looks at me, and I swear to fuck, relief shines back at me as her gorgeous dark green eyes lock with mine.
“You’re here,” she whispers, and I smile as I reply, “Where else would I be, shorty?”
Her eyes tear up, and I walk over to her, getting into her space. Her hands go to my chest, fisting my tee, and my lips go to her head as I gently cup it while my other hand goes to her stomach, which feels bigger, our daughter moving a little.
I pull back first, but not my body, needing her close, and I look over her.
She’s gained a bit of weight, and relief fills me, but also some concern.
“You look tired, shorty,” I whisper as I cup her cheek, taking in her tired-looking eyes, and she smiles sadly as she admits, “I’m not sleeping very well…”
I frown and look over her, taking in her features, then her clothes, a long-sleeved t-shirt hiding her wrists, and leggings.
