Page 27 of Viper
Guess my stomach has shrunk…
“How’s work, pumpkin?” Dad asks after a few minutes of silence, and I hum.
“Good,” I lie before taking another bite reluctantly, and he asks, “And Med school?”
I clear my throat and lie again, “Also good…”
I somehow think explaining that I’m thinking about quitting may be best as I walk out the door.
Do I want to leave? No, but I don’t have a choice, my head is all over the place, my emotions are out of control, and I can feel myself failing at it.
I’d rather stay as an EMT for now until I can sort myself out.
My mood and emotions are declining every day, and no matter what I do to improve them, nothing seems to work.
Dad hums before he’s quiet for a moment, then states, “I’m worried about you,” and I still.
Guess I haven’t been hiding it as well as I thought, huh?
“You’ve lost weight, you're not speaking to the girls, Ivy is hurt the most over that, even if she understands, and you seem like you’re becoming depressed, pumpkin,” he finishes quietly, and I swallow hard, not looking at him.
I lie, “I’m fine.”
“No, you are not,” he replies instantly, “You’re hurting and you’re not letting yourself feel it.”
I can’t have this conversation. I’ll fall apart, and I’m not ready for that yet. It’s bad enough that I’m feeling the pain of everything with Viper, and my anger is no longer in place.
I shake my head and deny, “I’m not, I swear I’m alright, Daddy.”
“It’s okay to hurt, Lake, you loved him,” my dad tries as I slowly move my food around in my bowl, my appetite truly gone now, and instead of feeling full, I’m feeling nauseous.
“Is it really love, though?” I question as I look at my dad, whose eyes show concern. I ask, “If we managed to fall apart so quickly, to give up on each other so quickly, was it really love to begin with?”
“The harder you love, the harder you break when you get hurt, sweetheart. You both have said stuff you don’t mean, you’ve bothaccused the other of being insincere, but you can come back from it, sweetheart,” he whispers, and I look away.
“If he loved me, Daddy, why did he sleep with someone else last night?” I ask quietly, and he sighs, “Dammit, Viper!” huffing with disappointment he replies, “Because he’s hurting and you’re broken up. He’s running from his hurt, pumpkin, just like you’re running from yours through your anger towards him.”
My nose twitches as my eyes water, and I quickly take another bite of my stew even though I’m not hungry.
It feels like he’s sticking up for him…
“Just think about what I said, Lake, don’t go losing someone you love with your whole heart. You both can come back from this and maybe even become stronger,” he tries when I don’t answer him, my mind not able to absorb what he’s saying.
He slept with someone else, and I get it, we’re not together anymore, but still, if he loved me, he wouldn’t have touched her, right?
I don’t think there's any coming back, too much hurt surrounding us, but I don’t say that. Instead, I change the subject and ask, “Have you given in to Fury yet and taken your old job back?”
Dad sighs, not happy with my tactics, but he relents and begins to explain how Fury chained his toolbox to the garage wall, making me smile.
They want him to stay, and he should. He used to love working there until he found out about the crap the brothers used to say about me. He doesn’t need to speak to them or work on their bikes.
He needs to put himself first, not me, because, well, I’m on self-destruct mode, and I’m not worth losing a lifetime of friendships over.
Chapter 10
Viper
I grunt as I swing my fist against the bag as hard as I can, not giving a shit that it’s hurting my wrist before I hit it again with my other, trying to focus on the pain it gives me.
