Page 24 of Viper
We’re not together anymore, yet I feel like I’ve just cheated on my girl...
My breathing picks up as my office door unlocks and opens and I look up from my spot on the floor and lock eyes with Blade’s dark blue ones.
“Brother,” He questions me with a furrowed brow, seeing me on the floor, and I shake my head, unable to speak, as I look down.
It’s time I pack up for a while, to let the open road help me, to get me centered, which I can’t do around here, seeing Lake every day, watching her with that fucking partner of hers.
“I can’t do this anymore, Leo,” I whisper, “I need to leave for a little while.”
He slams my door before he snaps, “You are not going fucking nomad and that is an order!”
I look up at him, leaning my head back against the wall, showing him my pain and he frowns, concern etching off him as he says, “Why can’t you and Lake just sit down and talk, Jaylen. You are in love with her, you’re her whole world while she’s yours,” he sighs, “I get it, you both have said some pretty nasty shit, both telling white lies, omitting the truth, both for different reasons but it isn’t something that can’t be fixed.”
“It’s not that simple, and you know it, Leo,” I remind him, making him flinch. “I’ve just licked Kitty’s pussy thinking she was Lake before shoving the woman out after I realized she wasn’t her, and vomited, I need to leave,” I admit quietly, and bile rises again.
I swear I can still fucking taste her.
“Jaylen,” he begins, but I cut him off and state, “No. I get you don’t want me to leave, I do, but I can’t stick around right now. I can’t keep living like this. As soon as Kitty climbed on my desk, all I saw was Lake until I looked up while licking her out andrealized it wasn’t her. I’m falling, brother, I’m falling so quickly I’m about to self-destruct.”
I sniff, “I feel like I’m missing part of my soul, and a part of me believes what we had was real, that we could try to fix what we both broke. The larger part believes she only wanted my cut.”
“She’s not a patch chaser, brother,” Blade whispers, and I sniffle, my eyes tearing up as I point to my head and snap, “But I can’t seem to understand that Leo, I can’t fucking grasp it. Our fathers fucked us up, and while yeah you’ve managed to get over your shit, I fucking can’t because I know what my mama did. I know what every clubwhore has tried to do, I’ve witnessed it and let’s not forget the shit the brothers engrained in us regarding Lake because of Cherri.”
I sniff hard as I lean my head back and I admit, “I wish I never met her, I wish I didn’t feel this pain day in and day fucking out, letting my opponents to smack the shit outta me just so I can feel something other than the heartbreak.”
“You don’t mean that,” he mutters.
I scoff, “I never wanted to fall in love, Leo. I knew I couldn’t trust a woman, but I still went there because I felt the connection between us, and what did Lake do wrong, huh? Fucking nothing, and I flew off the handle with her, seeing her holding Hudson, and accused her of using me. I called her a patch chaser because she never said her friends' names, and don’t get me fucking started when I found out about Cherri…”
“You’re letting your fears take over, brother,” Blade states unhelpfully,
“I know, believe me, I know, which is why Lake and I can’t be together, at least not right now,” I admit, “In my head she’s using me and I can’t seem to get out of that thought.”
“And going nomad will help you?” he confirms, and I nod because I know it will. He sighs, running a hand through his shoulder-length hair before he states, “We’ll have to run itthrough church, but don’t get your hopes up,” and I sigh because I know I’m going to have to go against him, but I nod, and he shakes his head, not happy.
I get it, I do, but staying here, I’m either going to kill someone, or kill myself.
Chapter 9
Lake
“Hi, can I get one black coffee and a vanilla latte, please?” I ask the cashier behind the counter, and she nods as she rings up my order.
I look down, not wanting to look around the café, not wanting to make eye contact with any brothers that may be in here and try to get my card out to pay.
I’m currently eight hours into a twelve-hour shift, and getting upset right now will do me no good, especially after I spent hours crying last night.
Did he take her home?
Are they together?
I shake my head to try to squash the thoughts, not needing to go over them again and again, especially while at work, before my phone rings.
“That’ll be $8.95,” the cashier says, and I smile as I tap my card to the machine while grabbing my phone, and she turns to make my order.
I sigh, seeing it’s my dad, and I answer, “Hey, Daddy,” with a chirp in my voice so he doesn’t worry.
“Hey pumpkin, I was wondering if you wanted to get dinner tonight?” he replies, and I half smile.
