Page 78 of The Academy
But five o’clock becomes five thirty, the Bills game is at halftime, the sliders are warming in the oven, and Cordelia has to put the dip back in the fridge because it’s growing too soft. When is it reasonable to text and ask Honey when she’s coming?
Cordelia waits until six fifteen; the Bills are up by three but the Texans are driving. She sends Honey a text:All good?She knows only too well how many last-minute distractions can pop up when you’re a dorm parent for so many girls.
It takes twelve minutes for Honey to respond.I’m not going to make it, Cord. I have Simone here in my room and she’s in bad shape. You saw Zip Zap?
Oh yes, Cordelia saw Zip Zap. She was secretly overjoyed to find Simone Bergeron was the victim. Something happened during herfinal year in college; she lost her position as floor fellow (which Cordelia assumes is similar to a prefect) and was disciplined. Is Honey getting the story?
Why don’t you and Simone both come over?Cordelia writes.We can talk her through it.
Good idea!Honey says, and Cordelia pulls the dip from the fridge again. She and Honey will serve as sounding boards for poor, maligned Simone. She’s so young. A person’s prefrontal cortex isn’t fully developed until the age of twenty-five. Simone still has an entire year to go before she reaches the age of reason.
A little while later, Honey texts again:She doesn’t want to come. Sorry, Cord. Rain check.
60 Minutesis starting. Cordelia sits down in front of the TV and eats all the pimento dip herself.
On Sunday, the girls on the first and second floors give Simone side-eye—and when she suggests a group order from Moon Palace that they can eat in the common room while they bingeBelow Deck,everyone declines.
Fine,Simone thinks. She has work to do anyway.
There’s a knock on her door and Simone opens it to find Ravenna Rapsicoli, pen and pad in hand.
“I’m here in my role as editor of the’Bred Bulletin,” she says. “Would you like to comment on either the Zip Zap post from this morning concerning the incident at the end of your collegiate career, or on your behavior during the room check last night, which certain anonymous sources called ‘hostile’ and ‘unhinged’?”
“No,” Simone says. As she closes the door in Ravenna’s face, a text comes in. She hopes it’s East but fears it’s Rhode.
It’s neither. The text is from Honey Vandermeid:If you need a friend, I’m here.
Simone has never been to Honey’s room and is surprised to discover it’s a suite—a bedroom and a sitting room with a kitchenette.
“Tea?” Honey says.
“Please.” Simone settles on the buff suede love seat, moving a needlepoint pillow that says,I literally can’t right now.She accepts a mug of jasmine tea from Honey.
The tea reminds Simone of hermaman,though she’s very glad her parents aren’t here to witness any of this.
“I heard about the room check,” Honey says. “Charley Hicks? What prompted that decision?”
“Her list in the’Bred Bulletin,” Simone says. “It included vodka Red Bulls.”
Honey blows across the surface of her tea. Even on a Sunday in the middle of winter, Honey is impeccably put together. She’s wearing an ivory cashmere turtleneck with an assortment of gold bangles on one wrist and an Apple Watch with a tortoiseshell strap on the other. Cute jeans, ballet flats. Simone is in sweatpants and her Expos T-shirt; it’s what she slept in.
“Charley didn’t write that list,” Honey says. “Ravenna Rapsicoli did, in an attempt to make Charley seem a little more relatable to her peers.”
“Ravenna wrote the whole thing?”
“The whole thing.”
Ravenna was the one who wroteorgasmsandfifth-form repeats?Hmmpf.
“Charley has been acting differently this semester,” Simone says.
“She’s figured it out. She’s become friendly with Davi now and she’s hanging with East.” Honey winks. “I’d say she’s too good for him but I’m kind of obsessed with him myself. Give me naughty over nice any day. More interesting.”
For some reason, this makes Simone feel better. Honey is north of forty-five and she’s “kind of obsessed” with East, which makes Simone being full-on obsessed with East seem almost reasonable.
“Do you want to talk about Zip Zap?” Honey asks.
Simone regards the needlepoint pillow.I literally can’t right now,she thinks—but Honey is waiting for an answer. “It’s just so…violating,” she says. “I’m pretty sure someone read through my email. Is thatpossible?”
