Page 71 of Golden Girl
“Congratulations,” Brett says cautiously. “How far along?”
“Eleven weeks,” Willa says. “So I’m still not out of the woods. I’ve been as far along as fifteen weeks and then…”
“Oh, Willa.”
“When I miscarried the first time, I asked my mother if she’d ever been through it,” Willa says. “And she told me no.”
“Ah,” Brett says.
“I was looking for commiseration, of course,” Willa says. “But I was also looking for areason. Was there a family history of spontaneous miscarriages? My mother lied. She told me no. When the answer was yes.” They’ve arrived at the ferry. Willa parks in the lot; there’s still a little time before Brett has to go.
“Well,” Brett says. He sighs and Willa feels bad for plopping him right in the middle of their family drama just as he’s about to leave. “One of the things that crossed my mind when I read your mom’s book…”
Willa winces.
“You didn’t read the book, did you?” Brett says.
“I’m only on page thirty-eight,” Willa admits.
Brett inhales. “Well, in the book, the situation is the same as it was with your mom and me.” He laughs. “It’s definitely me, I’m Stott Macklemore to a T. But anyway, in the book, the girl, Alison, calls Stott out in California to say she’s pregnant—and she’s lying. She’s…faking it because she’s afraid she’s going to lose Stott to the rock-and-roll life. So he flies home from California, and a week or two later, she tells him she’s miscarried.”
Willa gasps. “So you think my mom was…faking it? She wasn’t pregnant at all? She didn’t miscarry? She lied to you?”
Brett moves his palms like he’s weighing something on a scale. “I’m not sure what to think. Looking back, I think shecould havelied about being pregnant. She was still emotionally raw from losing her dad, and then suddenly I was off starting a new life without her, and she was lonely and sad and…desperate, just like Alison in the book.” Brett looks out the window and shakes his head. “And just like Alison, as soon as I flew home, she lost interest—and off to college she went, without ever looking back.”
Willa is gutted by this. “I don’t think my mom would do that. She was a good person. And also a really strong person, self-aware, self-confident.”
“I’m sure she was as a grown-up,” Brett says. “But when she was seventeen, she was battling some pretty serious demons. The way she described Alison in the book sounded exactly like the Vivi I knew.”
“She probably had Alison lie about the pregnancy because that made for a better story,” Willa says. “She liked a lot of drama in her fiction.”
Brett sighs. “The only person who knows the truth is your mom, and sadly, she’s not here to tell us.” He opens the car door and leans over to kiss Willa on the cheek. “Your mom was a human being, Willa, just like the rest of us.” With that, Brett gets out of the car, shuts the door, and waves through the open window. “Thank you for today. Let’s stay in touch.”
“Okay,” Willa says. She wants to assure him that her mother didn’t lie to him and didn’t sabotage his big chance because she was lonely and insecure back in Ohio—but then Willa realizes that what Brett said is true: The only person who knows the truth is Vivi. What if Vivididlie about the pregnancy? That could be a reason why she never breathed a word to anyone about Brett Caspian or their romance or the song. She might have been too ashamed. And this would also explain why Vivi told Willa she had never miscarried—because shehadn’t.
Mom!Willa thinks.What did you do?
Willa feels like she needs to apologize to Brett, make amends in some way.
When she gets back to Wee Bit, she forwards the video of Brett singing “Golden Girl” to her mother’s publicist, Flor; maybe Flor knows someone in the music business, maybe this can be the first step toward getting Brett an agent.
Then Willa watches the video again herself. Three more times.
Vivi
The only person who knows the truthis your mom, and sadly, she’s not here to tell us.
I’m here!Vivi thinks.Up here!
Your mom was a human being…just like the rest of us.
Brett!Vivi thinks. She’s not sure she deserves his kindness.
That night, while everyone sleeps, Vivi can’t help herself. She goes back to the summer of 1987.
Brett tells Vivi that his band, Escape from Ohio, has an actual paying gig, a bar mitzvah at the Holiday Inn in Independence.
“Six hundred bucks!” he says. “Two hundred apiece! For one night of work!”
