Page 92 of Summer of '69
“Fixed ithow?” Jessie asks. Her hands are numb, her lips are tingling. She will never, ever be the same. Nothing matters anymore—not Pick, not the Tree of Life, not Anne Frank discovered by the Nazis and dying in a concentration camp. Her mother lied about Wilder Foley’s death. He killed himself because of something Kate said. And Mr. Crimmins knows.
“He just fixed it,” Kate says. “He made it look like an accident.”
“Dad?” Jessie asks.
“David was the main person we were trying to fool,” Kate says. “And the insurance company, of course, because they wouldn’t have paid a settlement for a suicide. And I wanted to hide the truth from my friends and neighbors. When they heard Wilder killed himself accidentally while cleaning his gun, they felt sorry for us.Thatis a tragedy. Suicide, however, carries a stigma. I couldn’t bear to pass that legacy on to the children. So, only Bill knows. And now you. I’m trusting you with this secret, but I will notburdenyou with it. If you want to call the authorities right now, call the authorities.” Her eyes are shining with tears. “It might be a relief. You have no idea what kind ofhellit has been living with this for so many years. I waited each day to be punished. Because no one gets off scot-free, Jessie. And when they called up your brother, although the rest of the world might see that as random bad luck, I knew that Tiger was being drafted because of me. And he’s likely going to die.”
“Mom,” Jessie whispers. “Please don’t say that.”
“It’s my fault,” Kate says forlornly. She lays her head on the table, and finally, the tears fall. “It’s my fault. I drove Wilder to his death.”
Jessie remembers seeing the destruction that the Bonneville caused after it crashed through the front window of Buttner’s. The damage had seemed irreparable. And yet, Buttner’s window had eventually been restored to brand-new, better than brand-new. So, too, with Kate’s earth-shattering confession. Kate cries for a while; Jessie hands her some tissues, Kate wipes her tears, then heads back over to All’s Fair. When Jessie checks on her a while later, Kate seemshappier.She suggests that they go to the beach, just the two of them.
“It’s the nineteenth of July,” Kate says in a completely normal voice. “And we’ve barely been.”
“What about Dad?” Jessie asks. She tries to keep her voice steady but right now her world is hanging on her father’s arrival. Her mother must know Jessie would never call the authorities to turn her in, but Jessieisgoing to tell her father. Shehatesthat Kate and Mr. Crimmins set out to fool him. He needs to know the truth.
“He’s arriving on the three-fifteen,” Kate says. “If we leave here by eleven, we can still get half a day.”
Jessie is afraid if she declines, her mother will think it’s because she’s horrified by the secret. Jessieishorrified by the secret. For sixteen years, her mother has been lying to everyone. And now Kate is being punished—no, they areallbeing punished, because Tiger was sent to Vietnam and might come back in a body bag.
The incomprehensible thing is that Jessie still loves her mother as much as ever, maybe more. Jessie remembers only too well how she agonized that week when she thought Nonny’s necklace was gone forever and how that guilt was like a load of gravel in her gut, grinding away, weighing her down. What must it have been like for her mother keeping the secret from Nonny and David and her own children all these years? No wonder she felt lonely.
Jessie will tell David, and David will confront Kate, and although things will then be messy, the truth will be out and Kate will feel better and maybe Tiger will be saved.
“Okay,” Jessie says. “I’ll put my suit on.”
“I’ll make sandwiches,” Kate says.
“Mom,” Jessie says. Kate stops. They look at each other and this is the make-or-break moment, Jessie can feel it.
“No mustard,” Jessie says.
The day turns out much better than Jessie would have thought such a day could. Kate and Jessie go to Ram Pasture. Exalta tried to wrangle an invitation but Kate said, “I’d like some time alone with Jessie, thanks, Mother.” The beach is practically deserted. The sun is warm but not overbearing and because Exalta isn’t there, Jessie gets to sit in her chair, a Sleepy Hollow, which did not get its name by accident. Jessie falls asleep in the sun but her mother remembered the Coppertone so Jessie doesn’t burn. When she wakes up, she and Kate take a swim. The water is cool and refreshing and cleansing somehow. When they climb out, they eat their sandwiches on their towels. Jessie has ham and cheese on lightly toasted Portuguese bread with butter and some nice lettuce and pickles, and it’s the best sandwich she has eaten all summer if she doesn’t count the BLT Pick made for her on the first day.
After lunch, Jessie lies on her stomach and readsMrs. Basil E. Frankweiler. She stops every few pages to daydream about her older self graduating from college and moving to New York City or Paris or Amsterdam, which is where Anne Frank lived.
At quarter to three, they pack up their things and climb into the Scout, and they reach the ferry at the exact moment that David Levin is coming down the gangplank.
Kate says, “Go ahead, it’s okay.”
Jessie gets out of the car and runs into her father’s arms and he holds her tight and says, “Oh, honey, you are a sight for sore eyes.” Jessie squeezes him tightly and thinks thathe’sthe sight for sore eyes; she didn’t realize how much she missed him until just this second.
He pulls away and says, “I can’t believe how grown-up and beautiful you’re getting.”
Her face grows warm, or maybe that’s from the sun.
“Don’t forget, we have an ice cream date,” David says. “But right now, I want to kiss your mother.”
They drive back to the house and Kate and David disappear upstairs and Jessie takes a long outdoor shower and then goes upstairs in Little Fair and sees an envelope on the table. Her heart seizes. Tiger? But as she gets closer, she sees it’s just a letter from Doris. Jessie takes it into her room and stretches out across the bed. Her skin is tight from the sun, and despite the shower, there are still grains of sand hiding in the part of her hair and the whorls of her ears, but this is how it’s supposed to be in summer.
Dear Jessie,
I can’t believe you have a boyfriend. I hope he gets to visit Brookline so we can meet him in person.
Jessie realizes that this line means exactly what it says: Dorisdoesn’tbelieve Jessie has a boyfriend. And Doris is correct, but she never needs to know that.
There’s big news here and that is that Leslie got caught stealing a pair of pearl earrings from Filene’s. She went shopping with Pammy Pope and told Pammy how easy it was to just take whatever she wanted without paying for it. Pammy said she wanted a pair of pearl earrings. Piece of cake, Leslie said. She took out her own gold studs and stuck them in her pocket. Then at the jewelry counter, she asked to see the pearl earrings. She stuck them in her ears and pretended to admire them in the mirror and when the saleslady got distracted, Leslie slipped into the next department, then the next, then she eased out the door to the street. Pammy was in awe. She thought Leslie had gotten away with it.
