Page 29 of Winter in Paradise
None of them had been anything like Ayers.
And Winnie had been crazy about her. A good sign.
Cash doesn’t tell Baker or his mother where he’s been or who he’s seen, and they don’t ask. His mother had taken the other Jeep and gone into Cruz Bay—for what reason, Cash couldn’t imagine. She sure as hell wasn’t shopping for silver bracelets or bottles of rum. And Baker was being positively useless. He’d made two or three calls to the British authorities before declaring himself stonewalled, and so he’d spent the day “waiting for callbacks,” which meant sitting by the pool, staring out at the spectacular view. He didn’t even seem sad to Cash. Or maybe he was sad and just hiding it—which is exactly what Cash is doing. Cash wants to cry—to put his fist through a wall or break a vase, he wants to lose his shit, exorcise the bad feelings. But the problem is that his emotions are muddy. He’s not purely sad about losing his father. Nor is he purely angry that his father was a wizard of deception. His feelings are a toxic combination of both, and to head off an explosion or tantrum, he is utilizing good, old-fashioned denial. Hence the hike today.
Cash takes an outdoor shower. The walls are encrusted with shells—conch, whelk, cowrie—and there’s purple bougainvillea draping in overhead, and the water is hot and plentiful, and Cash has a view of the water. He decides it probably qualifies as the best shower he’s ever taken. He gets dressed as the sun sets, then he offers to grill up some steaks.
Irene says she isn’t hungry. “I think I’ll go up to bed.”
“Do you want me to call Milly, Mom?” Cash asks. “Just to, you know, check in?”
Irene turns around on the stairs and gives Cash a plaintive look. “Would you mind?” she asks. “I can’t lie to Milly. I just can’t do it. You know, she did a good job with your father. This isn’t her fault. I don’t ever want you to think that.”
“I don’t think that,” Cash says. “Dad was a grown man.”
“I’m beginning to wonder,” Irene says.
“I’ll call Milly,” Cash says.
He dials the number for the Brown Deer retirement community, but the nurse who answers in the medical unit tells him that Milly is too weak to talk.
“What do you mean too weak?” he asks. “Is everything okay?”
“She’s ninety-seven years old,” the nurse says. “Her body is shutting down.”
“Well, right,” Cash says. “I know, but…”
“Call back tomorrow, Mr. Steele,” the nurse says. “Until then, enjoy your vacation.”
Cash and Baker eat steak and potato salad out on the deck. Cash knows he should tell Baker he saw Ayers, and he should tell Baker about Milly not being strong enough to come to the phone, and he should really tell Baker about losing the stores. But before he can broach any of these topics, Baker says, “So Mom told me she has a meeting tomorrow.”
“A meeting?” Cash says. “With whom?”
“She wouldn’t tell me,” Baker says. “She came back from town and when I asked how it went she said it was productive and that she has a meeting tomorrow.”
“What time?” Cash asks.
“In the morning,” Baker says. “She wasn’t sure how long it would take.”
“Are you worried?” Cash asks.
“No,” Baker says. “It’s Mom.”
Right, Cash thinks. They have never had to worry about Irene in the past. But now… things have changed, haven’t they?
“What are you doing tomorrow?” Cash asks.
“Same thing I did today,” Baker says. “Waiting for the phone to ring, but it’s Sunday so I’m sure nothing will happen. I would like to get out tomorrow night, though. What do you think about that? I want to eat at La Tapa.”
“La Tapa?” Cash says.
“Do you remember that girl, Ayers?” Baker asks. “From the reception?”
Cash’s heart starts bobbing up and down. Yes. Ayers. Yes. He tries to keep his expression neutral. “Yeah, why?”
“She works there,” Baker says. “And I want to see her again.”
“See her why?” Cash asks.
