Page 111 of Between Now and Forever
His face falls.
“None of that matters because you’re right,” I say, my hand on the doorknob. “We need to stop this. Because I won’t fight for a man that won’t bother to fight for me.”
“Gabrielle . . .”
I open the door and step outside, jogging across the lawn before I can hear him call after me.
Because I won’t stop.
If he’s willing to give up on me so easily, then it’s best he gives up on me now, before things get serious ... and I admit that I think I’m already in love with him.
Jay
I growl into the air, flexing every muscle in my body until it screams to be released. “Damn it!”
My feet dance, wanting to run after Gabrielle and sweep her up in my arms. I’m certain my heart is bleeding. But my brain, the only part of me that I can still trust, reminds me of self-preservation.
I cannot go after her.
The look in her eyes pierces my soul every time it flashes through my mind.
“Because I won’t fight for a man that won’t bother to fight for me.”
Can’t she see that’s not what’s happening? Doesn’t she realize that this relationship is only going to hurt all of us?
I knew better than to do this. Damn it,I knew better.
“No single moms, Jay. Don’t get in a situation where you fall for a woman and her fucking kids. Be smarter than that,” I say, mocking myself. “Jay, you’re a fucking fool.”
I turn all the lights out and lock the door again.
“You can’t risk it. You can’t keep falling for them,” I say to the empty house. “You can’t be the problem for Dylan and be banned from trying to help him. You can’t be the poison.”
I still.
Fixing things with Dylan won’t fix things with Izzy.
My stomach clenches, and the distinct taste of bile coats my tongue.
I pace the floor, my brain suddenly clear.
My desire to help Dylan stems from a fear that I didn’t do enough to help Izzy. I know down deep that isn’t fair—that I did all I could for her. But knowing that Dylan is struggling and sitting back and watching him hurt and not doing a damn thing about it feels a lot like I’m failing someone again.
Did I overstep? Maybe.
“But was walking away overstepping too?” I ask, my voice falling flat in the empty house.
Even as I ask the question, I know the answer.
I took the easy way out, even if it was inevitable.
I stand in the dark and look out the kitchen window at Gabrielle’s house. The lights are off there too. I wonder if she’s awake in her bed or in the kitchen with a cup of tea. Is she talking to Dylan or helping Carter get back to sleep?
Is she crying?
Does she hate me?
“I could never hate you, Gabrielle. Not when I think I love you.”
