Page 19 of The Invitation
Exactly.
“But it’s really not that, Georgia. When I thought about having kids before, the first things that popped into my head were negative. I’d have no free time. Traveling would be a pain in the ass. Kids are expensive.” She looks down the length of her body. “I’ve worked hard for these abs, and you know they’d never be the same.”
I give her a soft smile. She’s given me that list of reasons a hundred times, but instead of agreeing with her, I remain silent. Sometimes she works through things by saying them aloud, and I’ll always be her safe space when she needs to navigate life.
“But now, when I think about it …” Her smile grows. “I imagine Jeremiah’s strong arms holding a tiny baby with my eyelashes and his cheekbones. I can see him in the pool with our child, teaching him or her to swim. And I feel like Ibelongin that scenario. When I think about it, I get a lump in my throat in the best way. I can’t explain it.”
“You don’t have to explain it. Sometimes you can’t explain feelings.”
She wrinkles her nose at me.
“And it’s no one’s business besides you and your husband’s, anyway. You’ll know what’s right for you,” I say.
She holds my smile for a moment and then turns onto her back. “I don’t know why I feel better now, but I do.”
I chuckle to myself and roll onto my back, too.
My body sinks into the cushion, nice and relaxed from the heat. I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep since my pizza party with Mom two nights ago. When the townhouse stills for thenight and nothing distracts me, my thoughts return to her.“Two months is a long time, Georgia.”
I’ve tried not to panic over my unemployment. I’ve ignored the statistics that the current average rate of joblessness is nine months.I can’t afford to be unemployed for nine months.Instead, I’ve been focusing on what I can do to help the situation. But Mom’s words dig into my confidence—ruffling my fear that I won’t be able to find work and will wind up … at her house.
The thought makes me ill.
“Things have a way of working out,” Sutton says, almost offhandedly.
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know. I was just thinking.” She wiggles her toes again. “Two years ago, I was twenty-seven and terrified that I’d wind up alone forever. But look at me now. I’m on the cusp of having more than I even dared to dream.”
“It’s not that hard to imagine. You met your soulmate.”
Her head whips to mine with wide eyes. “Excuse me? Did you confirm the existence of soulmates?”
I roll my eyes. “I’ve never said I didn’t believe in them. I said that I don’t necessarily believe that everyone has one, and I don’t know that there’s one for me. Get your facts straight.”
She laughs. “Hey, speaking of soulmates, did I tell you what happened yesterday?”
“If you did, I don’t remember,” I say, reaching for my iced water.
“Okay, so there was one piece of my project at work that I hadn’t quite figured out. We plugged a solution in for it to keep the train moving, so to speak, but it was still wonky to me. I couldn’t figure it out. But then, someone in the office said they lost their phone and was terrified someone would find it, break into it, and look at their search history.”
I make a face. “Yeah. That’s my worst nightmare.”
Sutton’s brows lift.
“What?” I ask, taking a sip of water, then putting my tumbler down. “I look up some really weird shit when I can’t sleep.”
“Such as …?”
“Okay. I was watching a documentary about astronauts, and I wondered how they poop in space. So I looked it up.”
Sutton bursts out laughing.
“Don’t tell me you haven’t looked up odd things,” I say.
“I’ve never looked up the bathroom habits of astronauts.” She bites her lip to keep from laughing but fails. “What else do you search?”
“What color is lightning?” I pull my sunglasses over my eyes. “Men speaking in Italian.So hot.” I hum while I think. “What sign is most compatible with Taurus? Poisonous flowers. How to spell Mississippi. Do kangaroos really fight people? How long until you bleed out if you cut the tip of your finger?Porn.”
