Page 79 of The Arrangement
“I’d be proud to take you to any restaurant in this town wearing sweatpants,” I say. “You do know that, right?”
Her breath is hot against my neck. “That’s very sweet of you to say. But even if that were true, that doesn’t mean I’d be willing to do it.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’d be embarrassed.”
I peel her away so I can look her in the eye. “What do you have to be embarrassed about? If anyone judges you over sweatpants, they can fuck off anyway.”
She resumes her position with her arm draped over my stomach. “It’s childhood trauma. I’ve been working for years to erase it.”
“May I ask what happened?”
“It’s nothing too complicated. It’s just that when my parents were married, things were great. But then Dad left us, andMom and I went from having a very comfortable life to having virtually nothing. I was the daughter of a banker and then the daughter of a woman who cleaned houses for a living. It was a total one-eighty.”
My heart sinks. “Didn’t she get a settlement?”
“His assets were all tied up in trusts. Dad was clever, I’ll give him that. I think Mom did get child support, but the system screwed her.” She sighs. “It just brought Mom and me closer, as we did everything together. She cheered so loudly for me that I didn’t even notice Dad wasn’t there until I was older.”
My jaw flexes as I imagine Chloe’s father walking out on her and her mother.How could he do something like that?It’s beyond comprehension. Then again, my father has done things beyond comprehension, too. It’s even more of a reason to prove to Chloe that good men still exist.
And she has one, if she’ll accept me.
“Things got harder as I got older, and life became more expensive,” she says. “Our situation caused cracks in my friendships because teenagers are mean. I’d be teased over my clothes and that I didn’t get a car for my sixteenth birthday. I couldn’t go to camps with my friends. Honestly, I didn’t even ask because I knew we couldn’t afford it. I still hear those voices laughing at me when I’m underdressed or self-conscious about my makeup.”
“You feel that way now?”
“Sure. I never feel like I’m quite doing things right.” She tenses. “I felt that way coming here. I thought,Women always have lingerie for their honeymoon, and here I am once again without the bare essentials.” She laughs nervously. “It is what it is, I guess.”
What the fuck?
“Hey,” I say, trying to lift her chin to look at me. She resists. “If that thought even crossed your mind, I’m doing something wrong, sweetheart.”
She clings to me. It’s a knife in my heart.
“Do I ever make you feel inferior?” I ask, worried.
“Never. It’s one of the things I love most about you. You never make me, or anyone around you, feel less … even though you’re the most.”
My chest constricts as I think of this complicated yet simple woman, and I realize how much I have left to learn—and not a lot of time to do it.
I roll her onto her back and hover over her.
For the first time, her guard is down. She’s completely vulnerable with me. There’s no shield, no joke on the tip of her tongue to distract me from a topic she doesn’t want to discuss. She’s open to me.
I almost can’t take it.
“It’s funny you say that,” I say, my voice thick. “Because when I’m with you, I’m aware that I’m batting way out of my league.”
Her smile is soft and sincere.
I brush a lock of hair off her forehead. “If you ever feel those types of things sneak up on you, just remember how beautiful I think you are.” I slide a knee between her legs and spread her thighs apart. “And if you keep feeling that way, let me know so I can spank that delicious ass of yours.”
Her eyes twinkle as her hands slide up my chest. “I’m feeling that way right now, as a matter of fact.”
“Do you want spanked?” I ask, a smile teasing the corner of my lips.
“I want whatever you’ll give me.”
