Page 73 of This Much Is True
Mallet: I have my own list of candidates. I’ll help you if you help me.
Kate: Deal.
Me: How’s training going, Mallet?
Mallet: Hard as fuck. What’s going on back there?
Gavin: Why are you being so nice, Mallet?
Gavin: Is this actually Mallet?
Gavin: I think someone stole his phone.
Kate: You’re pushing it, Gav.
I kick my boots up on my desk and lean back in my chair.
Me: I started this convo, and no one is talking to me.
Mallet: Typical middle child syndrome.
Kate: So why is everyone up this late? Is it a full moon or something?
Me: I’m looking at the sky right now, and it’s black. No moon. Is that a moon phase?
Gavin: This convo is getting boring.
Mallet: Why? Because something halfway intelligent was just brought up?
I snort.
Gavin: Tell your next opponent that I’ll tell him how to kick your ass for free.
Mallet: Better grow up, little boy, before you try to play with the men.
Kate: STOP. Hell. Why did God give me all brothers?
Me: Oh, like you’d survive with a sister.
Mallet: She has one. Gavin.
Gavin: Asshole.
I lean backward so I can see out the barn doors to check the house again. There are still no lights, no movement, just like it’s been all night.
My fingers itch to touch her, and my arms beg to hold her. But it’s late at night, and she’s had a long, emotionally draining day. She fired her father, for fuck’s sake, and then heard my bullshit.
Her words completely gutted me.
“There were so many days, weeks, and even months when I dissected everything about myself. I had a new experience and wanted to share it with you every day. And so many times, I was lonely and scared, holed up in a hotel room with no one to talk to. And I called you, and you didn’t answer.”
She’d been scared and lonely? Had no one to talk to? And I hadn’t been there?
It makes it even more fucking amazing that she walked in here almost two weeks ago like she owned the place. She should have hated me for thinking I abandoned her.
I hate myself.
Not only that but growing up with my dad led me to believe that I should trust her father. It never occurred to me that the man was a snake. How fucking wrong I was. No wonder she has trust issues. I need to do better.I have to. I have to take care of my girl.
