Page 30 of This Much Is True
I don’t love the idea of leaving Laina at home with Troy lurking in the shadows. As a matter of fact, when he and I came face-to-face this morning by the barn, I almost didn’t love it so much that I nearly punched him.
Although, he’s one hard motherfucker. I’d rather not tangle with him if I don’t have to.
It took him a solid hour to convince me he was part of Laina’s security team. He went as far as to have me call a number I found for her agent where a woman named Anjelica confirmed that Troy was legit. Troy and I worked out a way to keep Laina safe while she’s here—and he agreed that her being at my house was the best spot for her right now.
No one knows she’s here.
Troy is the only reason I’m giving Laina a bit of space today. I know he’s there to protect her.
The farther I get away from home, the more I just want to go back. Something must be wrong with me if Laina is there and I’m choosing to go to work.How many times have I wished for this very scenario? What have I tried to barter with God to get her back?Now I have her, if only for a limited time, and I’m driving away.
“You have to,” I tell myself.
Even if years have passed and Laina isn’t the same girl I fell in love with, I still like her. A lot. My heart still knows her. And I can only imagine that the more time we spend together, the harder it will be when she goes.
Holding her in my arms yesterday is now a core memory. If I let my guard completely down—no.
I can’t let my guard down. I can’t keep her. I know that from experience.
She’s not mine to keep.
Letting her go comes with the territory. And that part sucks.
I cross Peachwood Creek and pull into Cotton’s farm. He waves at me as he climbs out of his truck. I pull up to the stable and turn the engine off.
“I was wondering if you were coming today,” he says, shutting the door.
“Sorry.” I hop out of the truck. “Got a bit of a late start.”
“It’s not a problem. I got a bit of a late start today myself. The wife had me hauling stuff from the basement to the trash. Ain’t a day goes by that she doesn’t have a honey-do list waiting for me in the morning.”
“Could be worse,” I say, getting my things in order.
“Yeah, I reckon it could. I could be like that sorry son of a bitch who got left standing with his tail between his legs.”
My insides twist. “What are you talking about?”
“Oh, you know that bullshit wedding they had going on in Brickfield. Brought half of California with ’em. I ain’t been able to get a damn thing done over there in a week. But now it’s over, and we can go back to normal.” He takes a bag of tobacco out of the front pocket of his overalls. “Surely, you heard about that mess.”
I heard about it all right.
My jaw sets, and I head toward the stalls my grandfather worked in as a farrier and his father before him. The nostalgia I usually enjoy here is overrun with Cotton’s gossip.
“Do you mind if I do Moe first?” I ask.
“That’s fine.” He spits in the dirt. “You oughta take a lesson from this fiasco.”
I give Moe a scratch before leading her to the clean, dry spot Cotton prepared for us. He stands in the doorway instead of returning to the house like usual. Great. Just my luck.
“What kind of a lesson?” I ask, getting the horse and myself situated.
“Well, you’re still young and ain’t got married yet. Take a look at how that panned out.”
I grimace and get to work, running my hand down Moe’s leg. She picks up her foot. I start removing her old shoe.
“I’m good,” I say a little louder than necessary. “There’s no wedding on the horizon for me.”
“Ah, it’s more than that, kid. It’s how you pick a wife or a companion if ya ain’t getting married. You gotta be smart about it. Find someone tough. The world is a nasty place these days. You better find you a woman who can stand by you through it all.”
