Page 68 of This Much Is True
A million questions roll through my mind, and I try to sort them while conversing with Maggie.
“Right after you left the last time. Luke got a ticket to see you in Cleveland, and then you guys broke up for good.”
That’s not what happened. That’s notcloseto what happened, so why would Luke tell them that?
He slides his hand from mine and places it on his lap.
I couldn’t come home, and he didn’t return my calls. That’s what happened. Unless …
Unless he did go to Cleveland.
I smile politely at Maggie as she sits with her tea, launching into a how-to on making lasagna.Where did this come from? Did I miss something?I want to tell her I don’t care how to make anything right now. I want to know why Luke is lying.
There could be a reasonable explanation for it. Maybe he told his parents he was coming to see me, and he and Gavin went partying instead. But Lonnie was so sure. And Luke won’t even look at me.
What am I missing?
“Does anyone want dessert?” Maggie asks, getting up to make her and Lonnie a cup of coffee. “Had I known you were coming, Laina, I would’ve made you a cheesecake. Do you still like those? With the chocolate on top?”
“How did you remember that?” I ask, grinning.
“You were here for years. A mother remembers.”
The good ones do, Maggie. Not mine.
“I have brownies I can heat with ice cream,” she says. “Or if you want to stay a little while, I’ll whip up some chocolate chip cookies.”
Luke finally looks at me. He shifts in his seat like he can’t sit still. This time, it’s not because he wants to devour me. This time, I think he wants to avoid me.
I’m not sure whether to be angry or nervous. It’s the worst position to be in—there’s no way to prepare. My body falls back into what it knows about situations like this and starts building a shield around my heart to protect it.
I hate it. I don’t want to feel like this with Luke. I want the open, vulnerable, honest relationship we share. I want the chocolate cake and old sheets, the cuddles in the middle of the night, the horse barn antics during the day.
I don’t want secrets, and I especially don’t want secrets that make me feel like the odd man out.
“We’re gonna go, I think,” Luke says.
I stand and collect my dishes. “Let me stay and help you clean up.”
“No, absolutely not,” Maggie says. “I’ll make Lonnie help me load the dishwasher.”
He gives us an unenthusiastic thumbs-up. Despite my mood, I can’t help but laugh.
“Are you sure?” I ask. “It’s so rude to leave a house with dirty dishes.”
“Go.” She pulls me in for a quick hug. “And don’t be a stranger. You’re always welcome, of course, but if you can give me a heads-up next time, I’ll make you something good.”
“Dinner was great,” I say. “Thank you for having me.”
“Good night, Mom. Night, Dad,” Luke says.
“Good night, son. Love you,” Lonnie says. “It was good to see you, Laina.”
“It was good to see you, too. Good night.”
My insides twist so tightly that I think I might hurl as we step into the night.
Chapter Twenty-One
