Page 4 of Nothing But It All
“Did you see the video Maddie posted last night?” I ask.
Billie smashes another box flat. “No. I was putting together a proposal for work because I spent yesterday immersed in CrimeTok instead of doing what I get paid to do for eight hours a day.”
“That sounds like a good use of your time.”
“Hey, if you want to get away with a crime, I’m your girl.”
I laugh.
“I mean it,” she says, shrugging. “First, don’t take out a life insurance policy or change any dollar amounts. Big red flag.Huge.Game over right there.” She points at me. “Two, leave your phone at home.Three, never,everuse bleach. Peroxide is a better choice. And four, if you have to put them in a lake, puncture the lungs so they don’t float—”
“Oh, my gosh.Enough.” My face screws up as I continue to chuckle. “I’m concerned that you know all of this.”
“Be concerned now. But if you need help, you know where to find me.” Her bright-blue eyes sparkle with mischief. “Now, tell me about Maddie’s video.”
Right.“I was working late last night. Couldn’t sleep. I have this custom order that will never end. This woman sent me a literal wardrobe box full of pictures, mementos—and thirteen feathers—that she wants me to scrapbook. I can’t even wrap my brain around all of this, let alone get it into some semblance of a story. I close my eyes at night and see silver feathers and pine needles.”
“Weird.”
“Tell me about it.” I pause to take a quick drink. “Anyway, Maddie always records as she walks in on me working. It’s kind of her thing now. All of her videos start that way. So, she comes through the door just as I’m tugging on this package of a thousand tiny buttons. It opens and they go flying—I meanflying—across the room. My jaw drops, and some of them fly into my mouth and I start choking.”
Billie laughs.
“It was a whole thing. As I was trying not to asphyxiate, Mads put the video to music, posted it on my social pages, and we woke up to over one hundred thousand views this morning.”
“That’s amazing.”
“I know.I have no clue where she gets her Maddie Magic from, but she’s taken my scrapbooking from a hobby to a real business. I can’t keep up with orders anymore. I’ve been turning people down.” I close the doughnut bag. “I need these next two weeks off to get a business plan together. I wasn’t prepared for all of this.”
Billie collapses in a chair by the window and watches me smugly.
“What?” I ask.
“Lauren. Babe.”
“What?”
“You know damn good and well where Maddie gets her skills.From you.She might’ve gotten those big brown eyes from Jack—and Michael might be Jack through and through—but that girl is all you. I see it even more these days.”
I give her a simple smile. She winks back.
The last two and a half years have been some of the hardest but most necessary of my life. Admissions were made.I wasn’t happy.Truths uncovered.I wasn’t setting a good example for my kids.Dreams acknowledged.I wanted to live a life I recognized and loved.
I chose to give my husband the opportunity to make good on his promises. I had to exercise patience, never my strongest virtue, while I waited for him to come around. To be an active participant in our family again. To remember I exist as a woman.
As the days and months wore on, it became clear—if I wanted to be happy, that was my responsibility. I couldn’t wait on Jack to change.I had to change.
So I did.
I started a business, although serendipitously. I discovered that I like sushi. Exercise became a part of my life, I bought red lipstick for fun, and most importantly, I changed my mindset. I becamemeagain.
“Your scrapbooking business was just featured on the national morning news,” Billie says, shaking her head in awe. “A scrapbooking business, Lo. Who does that?You.You do that. You’re a big fucking deal.”
My cheeks flush. “I’m not a big fucking deal. I was on the screen for, what, sixty seconds?”
“It doesn’t matter. You’re the biggest fucking deal I know. You’re the biggest deal in Maple, Ohio.”
I laugh. “Like that means anything. A thousand people live here.”
