Page 41 of Flame
He nods, lifting his gaze to me once again.
My breath stills in my chest. I almost want to tell him not to speak—not to answer me. Because if the tightness in my stomach means anything, and it usually does, I might not want to know after all.
“I met your brother years ago when we were both working for Fenton Abbott,” he says. “We were on an operation together in Africa, rescuing a doctor who had been kidnapped by a terrorist organization.”
I nod, remembering when that happened. We didn’t know Jason was on the team that went into Zimbabwe until they had returned. It was a national story, although the media never broke the names of the contractors involved beyond Mr. Abbott.
Foxx clears his throat. “We landed the bird in front of this small compound. We’d been over this layout for a week, memorizing every wall, every door, every corner. We knew the plan frontward, backward, and inside out.”
I shiver as I listen, the hollowness of his tone breaking my heart. Jason has never talked about this—not to me, anyway. And this is the most I’ve ever heard Foxx say. True, he was warmer with me and the tiniest bit more open with me, but he was never a talker. Not like this. I wonder if this is the first time he’s shared this experience with anyone.
Has he kept this bottled up for years?
“So we get into position, and I remember thinking how much darker and quieter it was than I expected. Our intel said there were five guys on-site, and our target was on the third story of the center building.” His words come faster. Clearer. It’s almost as if he’s reliving the moment. “It felt like a trap, but it was now or never. We came after this kid, and we weren’t leaving without him. So we make it to the middle of the compound and start up the stairs. It was so fucking eerie.”
“What happened?” I whisper.
He licks his lips. “We get to the top, and the doctor sits cross-legged in the center of the room. He sees us, jumps up, and starts shouting. But before we can figure out what the fuck he’s saying, a door bursts open behind these drapes, and bullets start flying.”
My heart drops to the floor. The tears that threatened earlier tumble down my cheeks.
“Fenton grabs the kid, shoving him toward the door. We’re taking gunfire from behind us now, too. It was pure chaos …” He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.
“Foxx, you don’t have to say anything else.”
He looks at me. “I’m the last one out of the room. Completely out of ammo. Just as I put a boot on the steps to go down, a bullet grazes the side of my helmet from the top of one of the other buildings. Then hellfire follows. I’m pinned against this half wall, unable to fire back. The guys are back at the bird by now. How the fuck I got separated from them, I’ll never know. But I look down and see Jason coming back.”
My tears fall harder at the pain in his voice. Imagining my brother and Foxx in this position creates a fissure down the center of my chest. The ache is almost unbearable.
“I shout at him to go, to leave, to get the fuck out of there. I don’t know if he has any bullets left or what his plan is. Because there’s no way I’m getting out of there, all I can foresee is either he takes a hit on the way to me or gets stuck next to me. And there’s no sense in us both dying.”
I reach for his hand. Instead of letting me take his palm in mine and supporting him, he wraps his hand around mine.
“He had two bullets left,” Foxx says, smiling to himself. “But he only needed one.” He looks at me, the smile fading. “I owe your brother my life. He risked it all for me that night. He saved my mother from burying her son. And I will never forget that.”
It all makes sense.
I give his hand a final squeeze and then let it go.
“Bianca, this is my fault.”
“No, Foxx. It’s not.”
“I should’ve stopped this before it got to this point. But … I couldn’t.”
I want to hug and hold him—to have him hold me. But I can’t do that, and that’s the problem.
My world slows. The fog of emotions begins to clear. Suddenly, I see his predicament clearly.
“There is nothing I want more than to be with you, Bianca. You’re the first woman I’ve ever wanted like this. But if I get involved with you, that puts my entire career and friendship with Jason into question. My bias is compromised. I can’t make good, rational decisions when I’m thinking about fucking you or wondering what someone else is doing with you. Bianca, if something happened to you, especially on my watch, because I wasn’t focused …” His face pales. “Jason … your family … would never forgive me. And I would never, ever forgive myself.”
His last words are almost a whisper. But they roar through me, touching every last part of my heart.
My God. What a selfless, compassionate, amazing man.
The river of tears down my cheeks is hot. They taste like salt. But the real pain sits in the middle of my chest because this isn’t fixable. And I understand and respect why.
I clear the cobwebs from my throat. “Can I stay here tonight? And we’ll figure this out tomorrow.”
