Page 12 of Flaunt
“Nope. We are not.”Because I have no place to go, for once. “It’s weird being this lame.”
Rebecca just shakes her head, amused by my dramatics. My statement is true but dramatic, nonetheless.
My Friday nights are usually stacked with commitments. Becca, Ashley, and I generally meet for drinks at La Pachanga or Mega Pint. Occasionally, we’ll do dinner at Shade House. Once I part ways with my friends, I meet up with the flavor of the moment. Lately, that had been Joshua for a little extracurricular work activity until that crashed. I still have The Businessman, aka Brock, a man I met picking out a watermelon at the grocery store, saved in my phone.Why? Because that boy gets down to business.
Aside from the move, tonight feels dull—just like last Friday. I don’t know what it means, exactly. Am I hitting the wall? Am I getting old? My libido is still strong. I’mveryattracted to men. I’m just … bored. Uninspired. Apathetic about men, really.
Most of them, anyway.
“You are not lame,” Rebecca says. “You’re dealing with a lot of crap right now. It makes sense that you want to press the brakes a little bit.”
I lean forward, my chest pressing against the table, and look her in the eye. “But I’m not a brake presser. I’m agas smasher.”
She laughs. “I know. I’m not saying you’re weak, so calm down. Even legends have to sit one out every now and then so they can refuel.”
Okay, true.I grin, reclining against my seat once again, satisfied by her explanation.
“I know how you feel about emotions, so I won’t harp on it,” she says, her tone wrapped in sweetness. “But how are you? Really? It’s okay if your day made you feel-y.”
I stare at her.
“You can tell me. I won’t tell anyone.”
“Why do you think so little of me?”
“Sara,” she says, laughing. “Come on. You moved out of your apartment with a week’s notice, and your new rental won’t be ready for a few days. It’s understandable if you feel out of whack.”
I narrow my eyes. “Are you trying to get me to say I’m having big emotions and need consoling?”
She grins. “Yes.”
“Too bad. I’m not.”
Rebecca and Ashley understand me more than anyone else on the planet. Ashley and I have been friends since we were kids, and when Rebecca moved here a few years ago, she fit right in. But despite our close friendship, I don’t think they really understand me.
No,I know they don’t.
It’s not their fault, though. It’s not really mine, either.
That doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate their concern, thinking I secretly operate on the same playing field emotionally as they do. I’m not sure if they think I’m just a badass that views sharing too vulnerable or if they suspect I truly harbor feelings that I won’t share with them.
Neither is the case.
I don’t have them.
Thank God.
She clears her throat. “And you also quit your job unexpectedly.”
“Because Joshua was a condescending asshole.” I cross my arms over my chest. “I could’ve still worked with him if he would’ve just been like,‘Hey, we’re done here. I fell in love with this chick, and I’m gonna marry her.’Hell, I would’ve bought them a wedding present. A nice one, too, because I truly don’t care. But the whole,‘What did you expect? You’re not marriage material, and you know it’bullshit was too much. Fuck that guy.”
Jenny slides up to the table, placing a basket of chips and a dish of salsa between us. “Ooh, who are we fucking?”
“Currently, no one.” I frown. “That soundssounlike me.”
Jenny laughs. “Yes. Yes, it does.”
I sigh. “Can I get a chicken fajita, no beans, please, with a coconut-lime margarita? Maybe put an extra shot of tequila in there?”
