Page 125 of Flaunt
She lies back again, dejected. “I told you. This is my life. I’m not like your mom, or Brooke, or Ashley, or Pippa. I don’t have my shit together. Hell,I don’t even have my shit. It’s at Sabrina’s. Probably at the bottom of her driveway by now. Maybe nothing will be left by the time I get there.”
I don’t think that was supposed to be funny, but I crack a grin anyway.
“This is just a glaring reminder that I have a lot of work to do,” she says, the words dropping into the water like a coin in a wishing well. “I have to figure out how to pull myself up by the bootstraps.”
“I’ll help.”
“You can’t.”
“The hell I can’t.” I stand again, my thighs burning. “That’s what happens in a relationship, Sara. They help one another. They’re there when it’s good and even more when it’s bad.”
She smiles sadly. “You don’t want to be in a relationship with me.”
I chuckle. “You’re right.”
Her face falls.
“I need to be.” I sit on the edge of the tub and let her see into my eyes. “This is what I’m built for. This is what best friends do. And you’re my new best friend and a hell of a lot more fun than Maddox when he held the title.”
A tiny smile slips across her lips.
Anxiety fills me as the look in her eyes tells me that she’s going to fight me on this. She’s not going to just let me in.She leaves. It’s what she does.
But I can’t let her leave me. I need her. I need her with every breath I take and every plan I make for tomorrow. She’s my one.
I’ve always imagined a relationship like the one my parents have—playful and loving and fiercely loyal. I can have that with Sara.Only Sara.
“Stay here,” I say softly. “Let me love on you a little bit.”
Her eyes widen.
My heart smashes against my rib cage, making it hard to hear anything other than the blood pouring through my ears. I’m already in this far. Might as well go all in.
“I love you, Sara.”
Her eyes fog. Her lips swell like she’s going to cry, and I don’t know if that breaks my heart or makes me happy.
“I’ve never told another woman I wasn’t related to that I love her,” I say. “But I love you. Completely and absolutely. And I really, truly hope that you don’t push me away.”
“I love you, too,” she says, the dark rivers flowing again. “But loving me isn’t easy like it is loving you.”
“I’ll decide that.”
She blows out a breath, her chest shaking. “Can we go get my things and then meet Maddox for the key?”
My jaw locks in place. “You’re really going to block me out of this?”
“You can’t fix everything.”
“You won’t even rely on me.” My head starts to pound almost as much as my heart. “Do you think I’m incapable of helping you? Do you think I’m a flake? What is it?”
“I think there are some things people have to fix on their own.” She smacks the water with her hand. “Besides, I can’t see your brothers after today. I can’t look at them. I can only imagine what they’d say—and they’ll probably tell you to run, Banks. They’ll probably tell you to get rid of the dramatic one, the one who hauls shitty behavior to their front lawn. You should prepare for that.”
I’m afraid I should prepare for heartbreak instead.
I want to tell her that they wouldn’t tell me that. I want to tell her that this family would eagerly envelop her, flaws and all.Maybe even Foxx. But I’m all out of words. I don’t know the right ones to use here, and I don’t think they’ll make a difference anyway.
“I think there are some things people have to fix on their own.”
