Page 75 of Fluke
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“Cats are always a part of the old maid storyline,” she says. “It’s long hair, a broom, usually a wart on the nose, but I’d like to forgo that detail, if possible. There’s also a small garden with pie plates hanging to scare away the birds and a cat.” She furrows her brow. “You know, if there’s a cat involved, why do they need the pie plates? Wouldn’t the cats keep the birds away?”
I snort. “What’s gotten into you?”
“Not your ex, that’s for damn sure.”
My ex.
Jess made it abundantly clear that he’s not to be referred to as my ex-husband anymore. He can be my boyfriend, my man, or my lover. For the next seven days, we are the fakest real item the world has ever seen.
I must admit that it’s fun. He’s leaned all the way into his new role with a gusto that’s been lacking in my life. He gave me a massage, cooked me carbonara for dinner, and watched an episode of my favorite show—well, most of it. I ended up giving him a blow job before the show was over to repay him for the oral he expertly delivered earlier in the night.
And when it was time to go home, he lobbied for me to stay. If we were really dating, he said, I’d already have half of his closet filled with my things. So in all fairness, I should just sleep over.
Except there was more talking, laughing, and kissing than sleep. But who’s complaining?
Chuck. I smell his hyena stench well before I see him. I make a face, unable to control my visceral reaction to the odor. Shelly’s confused until Chuck stops at the door.
He’s returned to his no-tie life, and the bags under his eyes are dark. He focuses his attention on Shelly.
“I just sent you an email with ad copy for the Whistler campaign,” he says. “There are a few tweaks since the earlier draft, and marketing needs it by lunch. Could you take a look at it as soon as you can?”
Shelly’s brows shoot to the ceiling. “Um, sure, Chuck. I’ll look at it as soon as I get back to my desk.”
“Thanks.”
He glances at me warily before giving me a curt nod and disappearing out of sight.
Shelly checks the hallway before coming all the way into my office and shutting the door. “What the hell was that?”
I grin mischievously.
“I mean, Chuck was almostnice,” she says, baffled. “And he managed an interaction without saying something shittyto you? What the hell? Did he run over someone on the way to work this morning or what?”
My hand flies to my mouth, covering my laughter. “That’s not funny.”
She throws her hands in the air. “Explain it to me then.Because that’s not Chuck. That was almost a regular person.”
I drop my hand and grin.
The satisfaction of seeing him put in check is better than I even imagined. But knowing it was because Jess went to bat for me without being asked to? I don’t think I could’ve imagined a better scenario. I know I’ve put Jess in the not going there basket, but have I really had blinders on for so long that I’ve missed how genuinely nice he is?
Except when he’s denying orgasms.
And giving Chuck his walking papers.
“What?” She narrows her eyes. “What happened? What do you know?”
“Nothing.”
“Pippa—don’t you lie to me.”
I twist my lips to keep from smiling, but it’s futile. “Fine. I was with my friend, Kerissa, on Friday night, and Chuck and his wife just happened to frequent the same establishment.”
She gasps.
“Naturally, Chuck decided to stop by our table to say hello. But he was bringing extra pissiness due to the meeting on Friday, and I was bringing extra sass thanks to La Pachanga’s coconut lime margaritas. We were about to square off once and for all when Jess happened to walk in at just the right moment.”
