Page 72 of Fluke
“I don’t care about any woman on the planet but you.”
He wraps his arms around me and holds me tight. It’s as if he thinks I might pull away and never come back.
And, if I was using my head, that’s exactly what I’d do.
“I’m sorry,” he says, the gravel back to his tone. “I’m completely putting you on the spot here.”
“No. Don’t … don’t apologize. I appreciate your honesty. I just …”
I work my bottom lip between my teeth, a surge of fear racing through my veins.What do I do?
“Jess, I …”
My breathing is uneven as I inhale. The exhale is just as shaky. All I can do is be honest with him.
He stays still. He doesn’t move—not even a muscle.
How do I verbalize what I feel? What I fear? How do I tell this beautiful man the one thing stopping me from returning his sentiments is that I’m absolutely certain that a time will come when he changes his mind?
If there’s one person I don’t think I’d cope with seeing disappointment in me, it’s him.
“Disappointing people has such a negative connotation to it. But when you really think about it, sweetheart, disappointing someone probably means you stood up for yourself. If you never disappointed someone, then you’ve probably never made yourself happy either.”
Even if what Honey said about this is right, I don’t think it would be standing up for myself that would bring about that disappointment.It would be ensuring Jess gets what he deserves. So I have to speak the truth.
“It feels really unfair to return your sentiments when it’s a dead-end road,” I say softly.
“But do you feel the same way?”
There’s a hopefulness embedded in his curiosity that hits me in the heart.
“Does it matter?” I ask him. “I mean, really? Because for me, sharing how I feel with you now that I knowhow you feelwould be like winning a ticket to paradise and knowing it’s closed.”
His chest rumbles with a suppressed chuckle.
“I don’t think this is funny,” I say.
“Sit up.”
Huh? “Why?”
“Sit up,” he says, nudging me.
I press off him, pulling the sheet up and tucking it under my arms to hold it up. It’s a childish act of defiance. But if he wants to be bossy, I’ll keep a little control,thank you very much.
He smirks, amused with my antics. “Let me make sure I understand what you’re saying.”
“Okay.”
“You feel the same way about me as I feel about you.” I lift a brow. “But for some reason, you think that you can deny all of that because you’ve conjured up some imaginary reason in your pretty little head that would makeusimpossible long-term?”
“Well,” I say, shrugging nonchalantly. “It really sounds simple when you put it like that.”
He laughs. “Because it is simple.”
“No,it’s not. You’re oversimplifying a complicated topic.”
“Okay, says the woman who decided she was some kind of a seer who can predict the future.”
