Page 16 of Fluke
I sigh. “I like the idea of love. It’s a beautiful concept. And for the people who are lucky enough to scan the globe and find that needle in a haystack, I’m happy for them. I just think a lot of people scramble around and assign the wordloveto things that probably aren’t love at all.”
My body fills with an energy that propels me to my feet.
Talking about love makes me feel like a fraud. It’s a large part of why Chuck’s stupid comment bothered me so much today.
For someone who believes in the four-letter word and works in an industry based around the idea, I don’t know that I’ve ever been loved.
By anyone.
Kerissa is my friend, and I’m sure she loves me in that way. My brother tolerates me. My parents maybe feelan obligationtoward me. Then again, maybe they don’t even feel that.
I heave out a breath. The heaviness in my chest is hard to shake.
“What in the world do you mean, Philippa? You aren’t going to medical school? That’s the most ludicrous thing I’ve ever heard.”
“It’s just not for me, Mom. I’m miserable. I can’t see myself as a surgeon or a doctor. I don’t want to.”
My father’s face fell. “You are the biggest disappointment of my life. I hope you know what you’re doing.” He turns to Mom. “Let’s go, Andrea.”
When my boyfriend of one year dumped me because of my future aspirations, he used similar words now that I think of it.
I sigh.Maybe I am a love fraud. Maybe Chuck is right, and I don’t know shit about it.
Ugh. Chuck and right should never be in the same sentence.
“What did you think about Jess Carmichael today?” she asks, looking up at me with a smirk.
My cheeks flush at the mention of his name.
Seeing him again was like seeing an old friend—itwasseeing an old friend. But the way my stomach flutters when I think of him feels more like old friends with potential benefits.
Which can’t happen.
“I wondered how long it would take you to bring him up,” I say, sitting beside her again. “We could talk about Banks instead.”
She growls. This time,Ilaugh.
“Banks isn’t a bad guy,” I say, raising my brows as she starts to argue. “I know you don’t like him, and I know Kandace was really sad when they broke up.”
“Sad? She didn’t leave the house for a month.”
“But Kandace wouldn’t have found Ryan if Banks had stuck around. And don’t we love Ryan for Kandace?”
Her disgust softens. “We do love Ryan for Kandace.”
“See? It worked out.”
She crosses her arms over her chest. “Fine. But I’m not going to be friends with him. I probably won’t even talk to him.Ever. Because I’m loyal.”
I pat her shoulder and giggle.
“I have a question for you, though,” she says.
“Shoot.”
“How in the hell do you sit next to Jess and not try to ride him like a pony?”
My giggle turns into laughter.
