Page 68 of Sacrifice
“Ah, Ever,” I say, trying to keep my voice from shaking. I’m supposed to be the man, the stability, theunshakableone. But fuck me if hearing those words come out of her little lips doesn’t fucking shake me to the ground. “I’m trying. I promise you, I’m trying.”
“I think I just need a new body,” she whispers, opening her eyes. The pain in the dark irises is palpable. “I want to go back to the way I felt before. When I played with Rory and went to school and slept over at Mrs. Bennett’s house. But I don’t want to move back to our other house. I want to live here.”
“I can’t get you a new body and I can’t make things the way they were. But I can promise you that you won’t have to move out of here until you and your mommy want to.”
“I never want to. I like it here with you.”
“I like you here with me, too.”
She groans and her hands fly to her stomach. “It hurts so bad. It feels like a volcano.” She pulls her knees to her chest and squeezes her eyes closed again.
I’ve never felt more useless, more fucking worthless, than I do right now. It’s the most humbling experience I’ve ever had. I would literally doanythingto make her better and there isnothingI can do.
Not one single motherfucking thing.
“Will you cuddle with me?” Her voice is so soft, I barely hear it over Doc McStuffins or whatever her name is. “Please hold me.”
I stand and go to her, sitting at her feet. I lift her up and gently sit her on my lap, pulling her Tinkerbell blanket over her. I tuck it in around her little frame as she lays her head on my chest.
“This feels better,” she whispers.
“I’m glad.”
She lies quietly for a long time and I think she’s dozed off when she speaks again. “I have to go to the doctor tomorrow.”
“You do. They’re gonna start making you better.”
“I know it’s going to hurt.”
I squeeze her even tighter. I can’t refute it and I don’t want to lie to her.
“Will you come see me?” she asks.
“I will. And I’ll bring you taffy.”
“Bring me two pieces.”
“I’ll bring you four.”
Ever yawns and pulls her legs up against her. “When I’m better, will you take me to the beach?”
“I will. And we can go to the park every day.”
“You’ll take me every day?”
“Every day.”
“And to a baseball game?”
I laugh. “Baseball? Since when do you like baseball?”
“I think my daddy liked baseball.”
“He did. He liked the Red Sox. But I think you should like the Yankees.”
“Do you like the Yankees? Because if you do, I’ll like them both.” I chuckle, knowing if Gage was listening, he’d be having a fit. “I’m sleepy.”
“Go to sleep then.”
